Category: blessings

This is one of those days when I’ve received several of God’s hugs; little moments which brought joy to my heart as I think of the countless ways God works in my life and lives of others I’ve never met. As I was watching a recorded television program, the segment shared the story of a 5-year-old girl whom I will call Sally.  Sally is hearing impaired and her parents struggled with whether to send her to public or private school.

They chose the public school and God brought joy to Sally’s deaf world. The narrator of this chronicle stated one third of the students in Sally’s school learned sign language to enable them to communicate with her. The segment closed with words which were more profound than those from the most brilliant scholar. One of her classmates said this little girl is “like a gift basket; one with flowers and chocolates; a bundle of joy.”  For that young student to describe Sally in such a flamboyant manner, she may be a future journalist or perhaps a well-known writer.

Sally’s parents said she will succeed because of the school. Do some persons succeed, and others fail because of support or because there is no support?  Repeatedly over the years, counselors have cited I’m an exceptionally strong individual. This was not because of me, but because of the Lord.  My strength came solely from Him.  I didn’t have a school that supported me, friends or family that walked with me. Yet, I’ve been grateful that my joy truly was “in the Lord” as the song proclaims.

Another, God hug was an older movie; “The Secret” with Kirk Douglas. For decades Mike (played by Kirk) hid the fact he was dyslexic until his grandson also inherited the trait. During those years, Mike’s son had been angry at his father because he wasn’t like the other fathers. While watching this, I thought of my own life; never normal, never like others. I chose a path to share rather than hide.

I experienced a family that chose to “keep secrets” rather than face reality. As we know, most often those secrets are exposed. When they are, the emotional pain is far greater than the truth. At age 17 when I learned of my mother’s adulterous affair with my paternal uncle, my father chose to beat me for informing him I learned the truth. The revelation didn’t negate reality. Yet the extreme physical abuse added another layer of sorrow.

Such incidents implored me to never keep secrets. The movie was a God hug in reminding me secrets can bring much desolation to a family. Luke 12:2 NIV, “There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed or hidden that will not be made known.”

Perhaps you know the chorus, “God is good all the time. All the time God is good.” It repeats the same message over and over, but it is to validate the message.  As I was reading one of Max Lucado’s books, he queries, would we consider God is good if God chose to do something which is not good? As I have struggled with trials in my own life, I know  “yes, God is good all the time”, no matter what comes.

I find it most interesting that people often choose to judge a sentence or two from someone’s volumes  of their life story and determine that person is negative.  It is similar to when people misread a note or letter. The person reading words on a page doesn’t always understand what the writer is thinking. They can’t see whether the writer is smiling or frowning, happy or angry. They read “just words.” If the reader receives the message as negative do they desire to fully grasp the context? Do they pick up the phone to converse with the writer for clarification on the text?

Do those that judge know the entire life of someone stating the facts and issues of their current status?  As I’ve shared previously, one of my volunteer positions was filled with individuals with broken hearts and lives. If I chose only to “read the words” without understanding it would be “lost in translation.”

The bible is filled with ugliness brought about by other humans, but God allowed it for His good and His glory. How can we know the beauty if we never knew of the unattractiveness? My life has been filled with the same kind of situations; some very unpleasant, but some which God made beautiful.  When I carried countless bruises on my body for years from child abuse, it was so that as a Casa, I can understand the pain of those dear children’s lives.

There are aspects of history which we all despise. Yet it happened. As we hear it over and over, it is a reminder of what was and is now? I have followed several Christians on Facebook whom have endured horrendous challenges. They shared the heartaches of their lives; telling their stories over and over, often times for years so they could “share the message.” It was “reminding” others that God would and could bring beauty to the hideous aspects of their lives.

As I hear people judge others when learning of life’s hardships, I realize the judges perhaps never had to endure the “malevolent side” of life to understand there will someday be beauty among the “muck and stink.”  As my pastor stated several weeks ago, when God chooses to reveal His plan for His good and His glory, nothing can stop Him.  I Chronicles 16:34 NIV, “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.”

 

For the past 8 years, I’ve spent the majority of holidays and special events alone; often serving the homeless. Each of those a reminder of the aromas, giggles and delights of holidays we hosted. As is often depicted in stories, comedy skits and television programs, the dysfunction of the family clan occasionally reared its’ ugly head. As I recall those moments, there are countless smiles, for despite sarcasm, bad jokes and often “hurt feelings”, there was love.

Isn’t love what family holidays and special occasions are about? I was delighted when our daughter invited her father and me to share in the joy of celebrating Thanksgiving this year with her family. Charles declined for now he has a “new love”, Debbie.  She now takes precedence over even a few hours of our family time, as she enjoys the “here and now” with Charles.

For many families, the “here and now” with one another is what they cherish. They know there are numerous empty chairs. The laughs or sarcasm are now mere echoes. They cherish what God has given today; their family.  As we sit down at my daughter’s Thanksgiving table, there will be empty chairs; yet one of the most significant, will be one of the “living absent”; her father.

As we reflect on blessings of this year and those of the past, I am grateful for more than I could possibly count. I recall one of our most memorable holidays, even though alone.  In 1971 Charles’ parents and my mother joined the two of us in celebrating an “early Thanksgiving” as we were departing the following day for a new adventure; Charles’ US Army assignment to Ft. Benning, GA.

Although the trip was a difficult one due to my pregnancy with our first child, our move to GA was a “mini vacation.” We had never had a honeymoon or vacation in our 2.5 years of marriage. We experienced sights which we might never have seen. Thanksgiving at the Officer’s Club in Ft. Benning was delightful, but lonely. It is one which I will always reminisce with fond memories.  Our time on base was a blessing, for those were pages of our life’s album.

There is never a year, I can’t recall gifts of gratitude from God. Even during the tremendous sorrow of the marital betrayal, there are blessings. Yes, I’m grateful that at one time we were a family.  My gratefulness included all those years of opening my heart and life to Charles and his family.  I opened our door, greeting them with hugs and smiles, for most of those persons that walked through are now gone.  I would not have done this if I had “known Charles’ heart.” God spared me of knowing Charles’ hatred of giving to others. I would have missed those memories.  I gave of myself to those God gave me; family and friends.  I Cor. 13:13 NKJ, “And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

Where is the family? What family? As a child I can recall our family holidays in OH. We had several aunts, uncles and cousins which we would celebrate the holidays with. Shortly before my 11^th birthday, my parents uprooted us from our home and moved to OK; isolated, away from family and friends. Sometimes we would spend a holiday with my grandfather and step grandmother, also living in OK, but not often. Our holidays were lonely while it was “bless us five and no more.”

When I married my then husband, Charles, his family became mine and from our years of early marriage, we began planning and hosting countless Woods’ family holidays and special events. With my affection for cooking and baking, there was no better way to show my love for our family that to make certain every detail was fine tuned for those memorable occasions.

I spent hours, researching recipes, purchasing groceries and preparing the meals. Butter pats formed from turkey molds, hand created marzipan fruit and vegetables cascading from a cornucopia cake and hand dipped chocolates, were just some of the details of those early holidays. As a dietitian I fully understood people eat “with their eyes” before a discriminating palate senses the food.  Thus, a beautiful table and elegantly displayed food was as imperative as the food itself.

For over three decades our home was the “family gathering spot”.  Countless holidays, birthdays, bridal and baby showers were hosted in our home. The fatigue and stress from these events were minuscule as compared with my joy in the gift of giving and doing for others. The majority of all these events were for Charles’ family, as my family of origin seldom visited.

When Charles touted last year that he despised (his word was hate) all the events we hosted, I was astounded. He had never alluded to loathing these celebrations.  For the majority of our 44-year marriage after working full-time in a career, I was required to find the time to plan and prepare for these happenings. If it were not a Woods’ family event, or birthday parties for him or our children, we were hosting parties and gatherings for his staff and employees to further his career.

Countless hours of backaches, leg cramps, and financial expenditures in planning and preparing such events could have been utilized for persons cherishing the gift. I still ponder how I could give all those hours of my time for someone I loved, to be informed he hated every party we hosted.  Communication was something Charles never provided me during our marriage. I willingly would not have hosted even one, had he informed me of what his heart was feeling.

As I shared in my previous blog about not always knowing what someone is thinking and feeling, Charles has offered his deepest thoughts and feelings to his “new love”, Debbie, but as his wife, that was withheld from me. My greatest desire was to be a wife that brought him joy. Telling me over six years after leaving me, that he hated all the entertaining we did, leaves no opportunity for correction. TO BE CONTINUED: I Cor. 13:13 NKJ, “And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

Some of you reading this will recall when Thanksgiving day was not only a day of gluttony, but a “family time”; perhaps like the old song published in the 19^th century; “over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s house we go…” Many did then and still do go to Grandma’s, but often instead of the turkey baking in the oven, the male chef is outdoors frying or smoking a turkey. In lieu of traditional dressing, folks are bringing “gluten free whatever.” In place of homemade pumpkin, pecan or favorite fruit pies, there are “light, low calorie” desserts on the table.

The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade may be replaced with eyes staring at ipads or flying fingers texting on cell phones. If the television is on, it is “noise only” as no one is paying attention to the beautiful floats which took hundreds of hours to design and construct. The yard is adorned with Christmas lights and decorations while pumpkins greet guests at the door. Inside beside the roaring fire, the Christmas tree glistens with its’ twinkling lights and shiny bobbles. Is it Thanksgiving or merely an “early Christmas gathering?”

For decades the family feast was followed with the men in their recliners or favorite “spots” enjoying football games while the women cleaned the kitchen and chattered about the upcoming Christmas season, the gifts they had purchased and those yet to buy or perhaps make, the holiday baking and sharing of recipes. The children quite often were playing board or card games or if weather permitted, outdoors playing tag, hopscotch or jumping rope.

Now many families “dash out” the door, leaving the kitchen in shambles while they race to “black Friday sales” where pushing and shoving know no limits. The children may be left alone, as they head off to their rooms with their own televisions, computers, ipads and the other latest “techie device.”  If in the care of  “the men”, Moms are trusting the children didn’t eat the remainder of the desserts or run outdoors without their coats or worse yet, head off on scooters and bicycles forgetting their helmets.  While the men shout with joy over the latest touchdown, as long as there are no cries or screams from the children, then all is well. TO BE CONTINUED:  I Cor. 13:13 NKJ, “And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

It seems “Hallmark” movies and moments are everywhere. I smiled when the pastor today spoke of Joseph and his brother’s sobs, “as if they were watching a “Hallmark” Christmas movie. This was a vibrant reminder of what I shared yesterday; most all persons understand the emotions experienced when you hear that phrase.

It’s as though Pastor Eric and I were writing from the same script, as not only did he speak of the “Hallmark” movies, but also of our hearts. Even though I shared that “if only” we knew what a person was feeling in their hearts, Pastor Eric spoke of hardened hearts. Persons with such hearts don’t rejoice or weep. They don’t love or show concern. They don’t forgive and thus don’t choose to reconcile differences or relationships. They are cold, calloused and indifferent.

What a gift it would be if we knew another’s feelings of their hearts. It would save us from some very painful and emotional circumstances in our lives. Even the mundane aspects of daily living would be different “if only” we knew. From the grumpy salesperson to the rude colleague, fellow student or even family member, “if only” we understood their heart and feelings.

Years ago, a counselor instilled in me the term and explanation of “displaced anger.” When people reacted to me in a condescending or offensive manner, realizing I had done nothing to cause such treatment, I had to step back and remind myself of those two words. It is a reminder that we never know what another is thinking or feeling. What life experience are they enduring? We are egotistical if we always believe it is about us.

Life can’t always be a “Hallmark” moment from movies, but we can certainly try to accept times of our lives as “memories to be made”, not nightmares to be relived. As I reflect on the past seven years, there have been some Goliaths; but it also caused me to accept my current situation as just “another page of life.” It would have been wonderful to have known the thoughts and feelings of my then husband’s heart. It would have saved me years of sorrow and hours of tears.   I didn’t, so now when I need to be uplifted, I dwell on “God’s Hallmark moments” of the joy and goodness He brings into my life. Ephesians 4:32, NKJ “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

Broken hearts, betrayal, romance, love, marriage, joy, sorrow, children, puppies, Christmas, cookies, hot chocolate and falling snow. These and many more are ingredients of what most of us immediately recognize as a Hallmark Movie. How often do we hear the phrase, “it was a Hallmark moment”?  From our teen years on, most of us know the meaning of this sentiment. For with it there is a smile and often  a tear or two.  Yes, we know the ending within 5 minutes of viewing the beginning. Why then do we continue to watch year after year and hour after hour a movie which we already know the ending?  Because it brings us joy.

Having attended countless writer’s meetings and workshops, we are told repeatedly that in order to be good writers, we must pen our stories based upon our knowledge and experience. Thus, the writers for the Hallmark movies have experienced the same kind of joy, sorrow, good times and bad as each of us watching those surreal, “sappy” movies.

We may be at a time in our life which atypical love stories and happy endings are what we need to lift our spirits. In the summer, I heard someone in one of my quilting circles telling us,  they put on their jammies, comfy slippers, baked cookies, turned their air conditioner down and snuggled under a quilt while drinking hot chocolate and watching “Hallmark Christmas in July” movies with their grandchildren. We love being carried away by a “Calgon moment” of yesteryear.

Yes, just today, amid the noise and clatter of my disarranged life, I turned on a Hallmark movie. No, not any movie, but a Hallmark Hall of Fame. I needed to be reminded of what life could have been like “if only” I had known the heart of one of the most important people in my life. “If only” I had known what he was thinking and feeling, would I now be sitting in an empty house, barren except for a single bed and sofa, with countless persons, amid the cacophony of their voices and equipment?

No matter how hard we try, we can never know what another is thinking or what their heart is feeling, if they choose not to share. Greater yet, is when we don’t know, what the outcome will be on our own lives? TO BE CONTINUED:  Proverbs 27:19, NIV, “As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.”

It happened a year ago; it crept in silently, dressed in obscure clothing, so it wouldn’t be detected. It caused me to grasp my faith more tightly than ever. It reminded me I was alone, with no one there to be with me; no friends, or family to hold my hand and sit with me.  It was just me and this villain. Would it hold me hostage or take my life? What I did know was that no matter what it chose to do with me, God  would remain no matter the outcome.

It took three of my four grandparents, my parents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Had it now chosen to take me? Examination followed examination and with each visit, leading me to another, the outcome appeared to be more realistic than the last. Then when I was told, we’re sending you to an oncologist, it was “Big C”, the word so many dread; cancer. The only real fear I had was knowing I was alone.

In the past seven plus years that I have been alone, there have been three surgeries, countless hospital visits and illnesses. Awakening in the night and struggling to get to the bathroom or becoming physically ill as I often missed making it before emptying my stomach, were the realities of having no one at my side.  Through it all, God reminded me of His promises.

He couldn’t hold my hand, get me a glass of water, bring me a basin as I was ill or a fresh warm cloth to wipe my face and brow, but I had to know, He knew and understood. He didn’t choose for me to be alone; another did.  Nonetheless, I realized I would get through this as I had other trials, dozens of times over these past years. They had been difficult, but what would it be like to now face cancer alone?

What a blessing and joy it was when my beloved brother and sister-in-law noted they would not allow me to go into the surgery unaccompanied. They would make the 2,200- mile round trip to be at my side. Even though they couldn’t remain long, they would be there when I felt the most alone; as I was wheeled into the operating room.

Big “C” had fooled me this time, but perhaps next time it will be reality. Even though still alone, I know I can handle whatever comes my way because I truly know the one that holds tomorrow. Deuteronomy 31:6 NKJ, “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”

“Small Works, Great Wonders”, was the title of a western art show I volunteered for this week. Yet this same phrase can describe hundreds of situations in our lives; the birth of babies, observing beauty in nature as trees and flora bud and bloom, fledgling birds depending upon their parents until they fly from the safe haven of their warm nest, mothers in the wild protecting their young while often sacrificing their own lives.  The list of small works, but truly great and wonderful wonders is limitless, delineated by what we envision as such.

As artists see the beauty in objects which many don’t see, so too do writers see a story in what others might deem routine. As I joined some of my fellow Christian writers during one of our meetings, I was reminded why we as writers, share our stories about the “great wonder” of what God does in our lives; the jubilant, as well as the sorrowful.  One in the group spoke of sharing stories of her divorce, while another discussed sharing her story of the loss of her children. Such stories are not about small works, but mighty ones; how God allows each of us to use “His” stories to bring encouragement to others.

As Christian writers we realize inspiring others may come from bringing to life those things which seem unappealing. We too may view these situations as magnificent illustrations of God’s loving hand and “wonders.” I know that each of you reading this had a time in your life, you knew “if not for God”, things would have been much different. Each reading this may have experienced or be close to someone that had an “almost fatal” accident or injury, was caught up in a natural disaster losing all they had but their lives, suffered an illness or surgery that almost took their life and countless other life scenarios.

I have cherished the bible teachings of the “small works, but great wonders” of God. I read with hope of countless times He put through many of the bible “VIP’s” through trials and tribulations. Those that walked the closest with Him, never understood His actions, but they trusted He was with them. That has been my source of strength over these past years. There is seldom a week which passes that I don’t shed at least a few tears and often it is a “snotty nosed, tear gushing, sobbing” cry to God of “what in the world are you doing with me?”  Psalm 72:18 NKJ, “Blessed be the Lord God, the God of Israel, who only does wondrous things!”

Once a month among the humming sewing machines and sergers, whooshing of the steam irons and the whiz of the shears and rotary cutters on fabric, a room full of caring volunteers produce bright, colorful, pillow cases for hundreds of patients at the local children’s hospital. Each case is packaged with a note of encouragement to the young patients.

During a recent day of volunteering at a local craft market, presenting our mission of making these gifts, one of the recipients stopped by our booth to offer her gratitude and appreciation. Another volunteer shared how our mission became an unstoppable goal of doing more and more for these precious patients. Such sharing from patients and fellow volunteers validates my rationale and desire to be a part of this team.

I also look forward to Thursday at the local food pantry and resource center. We gather as a group of volunteers to pray for the clients God is sending that day; to satisfy their physical needs, while also encouraging their hearts and minds with the love of God.

Additionally, I’m honored and privileged to be able to serve people in our county as a Casa; Court Appointed Special Advocate for children currently in foster care. These are only a few of the volunteer opportunities God has bestowed upon me. There are numerous others which are placed along my life’s path.

While meeting someone for the first time, whom I will call “Mr. T”, his criticism and judgement were harsh about my involvement in volunteering. My extensive volunteer work has been a tremendous blessing to give back to others.

Even though I began volunteering with children’s events and church when my children were young, my volunteer hours were limited as my husband and children were among my greatest priorities.   When my life changed seven years ago, I knew the best way to compensate for my loss was to give back to others with needs greater than my own. It always astounds me when individuals are perplexed as to why I would give time to helping others.

Chuck Swindoll exquisitely explained why we do for others in one of his devotions. “In the gallery of His priceless work, the Lord God has included a portrait of vast value. It is the portrait of a servant carefully painted in words that take time to understand and appreciate…”Blessed are the merciful,” Jesus said. Mercy is concern for people in need… Offering help for those who hurt . . . who suffer under the distressing blows of adversity and hardship. Those special servants of God who extend mercy to the miserable often do so with much encouragement because they identify with the sorrowing—they “get inside their skin.” Rather than watching from a distance or keeping the needy safely at arm’s length, they get in touch, involved, and offer assistance that alleviates some of the pain.”

I Peter 4:10 NKJ “As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.”