As I opened my Facebook today, a friend posted a borrowed quote from Anthony Hopkins, “Brutal.” The words spoke volumes to me, as I feel they probably would with each of you; reminders that we can’t make people love or accept us. We can’t change things which others do, but above all our actions are ours alone and must not be dictated by others.
I’m sharing a few of his comments as we enter a new year. As the pastor said Sunday, he doesn’t believe in New Year’s resolutions for too often they are broken by January 15th. He prefers to set goals. This is a wise choice as most of us can achieve goals, but it is more difficult to keep “a firm decision to do or not do something”, which is the definition of a resolution.
Each January 1st, I have hopes and dreams of things which might happen during the year ahead. However, because God controls my life, then He often has plans for me which I must “adjust and adapt.” As I reflected on Anthony’s list, I opted to use a few of them as goals for myself.
“Let go of people who are not ready to love you.” This was and remains one of the most difficult. For there are people I loved as deeply and intensely as I thought humanly possible, but the love was not returned and I had to learn to “move on” and to accept “what is.”
“Stop having difficult conversations with people who don’t want to change.” This statement was very attached to mine about love. I so earnestly desired an understanding of why the person(s) didn’t love me. They didn’t desire to change, so the conversation for understanding was futile.
Anthony also states, “It doesn’t mean you have to change who you are, it means you have to let go of people who aren’t ready to be with you.” I know each of us have people in our lives, in this category; some friends, others family. Anthony continued, “the most valuable thing you have in your life is your time and energy, as both are limited. Make your life a safe haven, where only people “compatible” with you are allowed. Decision to distance yourself from toxic people, will give you the love, esteem, happiness and protection you deserve.”
As Christians, we desire to be people others yearn to be with in friendship and love. We are so often reminded that we can’t grant love to others if we aren’t filled with God’s love. Just as a bottle of water provides refreshing water, it is what is in the vessel which is then bestowed. If we are filled with anger and hatred, we cannot impart God’s love.
As we enter into this new year, then perhaps this can be a goal of ours, to be what God desires us to be, so that others may aspire not only be with us, but to be like us. I Cor. 13: 4 NKJ, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up.”