Forward or Backward?

Isn’t it interesting when you are trying diligently to move on from something which has greatly imprinted your life, there are frequent reminders of that which you are attempting to forget? As I shared yesterday, I spent a full week in a workshop endeavoring to heal from the deep pain of marital betrayal. Yet today, I heard a gentleman say, “the most important decision you will ever make in your life is who you choose to spend your life with.”

Though for me personally, the most important decision I’ve ever made is choosing to be a child of God, I know a decision for a life mate is critical. In my fervent effort to heal, I had taken two steps forward and one back! Yet even with losing a step now and then, if I proceed forward, I will reach my goal of healing.

As I drove quietly through my neighborhood today while departing for church, God placed a reminder of His love on my path.  No less than 5-6 deer walked in front of my car. I stopped, rolled down my window and hoped to capture that beautiful moment; a family out for an early morning stroll. One of the adults stood guard, while the babies fearfully ran. Even though I beheld the beauty of that moment, it was also a reminder to me that God stands guard when I fear there might be some vulnerability in my life.

As our pastor continued his message today on Joseph, he reminded us that when we are in the “pit” we can deny what is happening, we can despair over what is happening, or we can decide God is able. I know God is able. We all know God’s schedule is not always ours. Yet if we have faith and trust, we know some day we will walk out of the pit, onto solid ground more beautiful than we could ever have imagined.

During the sermon today as the pastor spoke about not being self-absorbed, I smiled. I recalled the on-going theme of the workshop I attended last week; taking care only of ourselves. When I had mentioned my volunteer work, giving and doing for others, I was criticized. I give to others due to the great love God has bestowed toward me. Also, as I do, it echoes words I also heard today, “don’t confuse heartache with hopelessness.” Some I serve have much heartache, as do I, but I also want to be an encouragement to them that life is not hopeless. Matthew 23:12 NIV “For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

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