As I began a new bible study this week on Song of Solomon by Tommy Nelson, Pastor of Denton Bible Church, I was somewhat tentative. With my current status, I didn’t aspire to hear of what I didn’t have during my marriage and since. Nonetheless, it is a “gift” of what God ordained and desires for each of us in marriage.  King Solomon had hundreds of wives and concubines, but this biblical book speaks of one wife. This example of love for one another is to be an example for Godly marriages.

What causes us to marry? Do we marry because of mutual physical attraction? If so, as noted during the study, “looks deceive” for in time they will decline. The most beautiful you will ever be is when/if you marry at a younger age. Did your partner possess character and looks or merely looks?  Were you seeking the deeper “inner beauty” in your mate? Did you marry for convenience or to have someone take care of you? Perhaps you married for an additional income.

Often it doesn’t take long for the true person to be revealed. If the truth reveals deceit, do you remain in the marriage or walk away? Wouldn’t it be astonishing if all persons whom marry had the same goals and desires? There would be very few affairs and divorces. What if both parties took the vow to remain until death?

Some persons should never marry. If they are unwilling to walk with God prior to the marriage, the marriage often times will fail or at least will be abusive and dysfunctional.  Tommy Nelson states, “A man can’t be a husband until he’s been a bride. A man can’t lead until a man follows…a man has to first submit to God.”

Why is mutual respect such a vital key to attraction?  The answers are varied, but perhaps some of the paramount are: makes the relationship stronger, treats one another equally and eliminates physical and emotional abuse. If you respect your mate, you don’t choose to harm them.

A reminder during the study of broken vows is that it is worse to be married and live alone, than to be single and live alone. When living alone as a mate you are reminded daily you are not the chosen one. Physical love is indeed a gift God granted us for our mates. For some that gift from God was never bestowed by their mates.  Song of Songs 1: 4 NIV”…We rejoice and delight in you, we will praise your love more than wine.”