Which Coffee Roast Friend Are You?

You are a most blessed and fortunate person if you have or had a close friend or two. Decades into life and I’ve never had a true friend. I’ve had countless short-lived casual “friend” relationships via church, school, neighborhood and/or the community. However, never have I had a close, enduring friend. The bible tells us that true friends stick closer than a brother.

Each time I hear that, I chuckle for my siblings and I have never been close. As we have aged, our ties are greater than in our younger years, but none of the three of us have the kind of bond which the bible cites.

For my entire life, I have prayed and longed for a true friend. Circumstances and life have prevented such, but I continue to seek an enduring friendship. Years ago I read an article which compared friendships to coffee. I diligently searched for the internet article, but it has long since vanished into cyber space.  The author compared friendships to types of coffee: strong roast; bold, often times bitter tasting. They may be controlling and provide unsolicited advice. Counselors refer to these kinds of friendships as acidic, which then causes me to spew them out.   Medium roast; someone whom is there for you, without the drama or intensity of the strong roast, but you know they are a constant.   The mild roast;  there with a hug and comforting word of encouragement. They may be the short-lived friends, for they aren’t as strong as the dark and medium roast. Nonetheless, it is beneficial to have all roasts of coffee friends during our lifetime. Each of them has a lesson to share with us.

Over the years each of these “coffee” buddies has crossed my path. The countless moves during my life, the loss of my marriage, family and home all caused many friends to disperse. As I have learned, God most often brings us friends “for a season.”  When I plead for a friend, usually God provides for that period of my life. Many of these friends I had hoped, prayed and trusted would remain long-term. That was not their plan nor Gods, so I just have to be grateful they filled an empty spot in my heart and life before they moved onto another coffee break with the person God placed them with. Proverbs 18:24 NKJ “…But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

2 thoughts on “Which Coffee Roast Friend Are You?

  1. Interesting…but I think it has some wise things. As I look over my life, there are friends I have had for a season, but then have to move on and we are still friends on the Christmas list!!! My sister and I had a great friendship. She moved a LOT so we did not see each other much after we were married and had children, but every time we saw each other, we just picked up where we left off. Then later we would go to AZ to visit our parents. We always had a great time. Someone said, why don’t Ron and Joe come with you?? We told them that they were not invited!!! She was 13 months older than I was, but we were always in the same grade in school because my parents held her back a year. She would have had to walk over a mile to school by herself. They planned on moving and did, so we could walk together to school. It still was over a mile, but we had each other…well, she was 5 and I was 4 when we started kindergarten!!! We could and would talk in a way that only the two of us could understand. Ron still says sometimes, I am not Julie—I do not understand what you are talking about. When Joe and Ron retired, they did come to AZ with us. They would sit in the living room, while the rest of us sat around the table talking. Ron said, I don’t see how you can sit there for hours, every night you talk about the same things. Well, Ron and Joe did not know the people we talked about or the family friends and experiences we had!!!! So that is my story!! Thanks again for your great insights on stuff!!! Shirley P.S. My daughter Janet, still has a great friend named Jenny. We moved next to them when Janet we 4 and Jenny was 5. They are forever friends. Janet lives in NC and Jenny in Calif. But they still are close friends. They both plan trips to Dallas to see us and each other. Janet was here for Mother’s day, but Jenny and her husband were just moving here from CA. Janet spent the night with them!! The day after the moving truck arrived!!!! These two are the friends you were talking about and that you or I do not have!!!!!

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    1. Shirley, Thank you so much! Yes, I longed for friends. The 1st great loss for me was my roommate at the Christian college I attended for a year. She dropped me when she rtn home to MI, but for yrs. I tried to send cards, maintain contact, etc. For reasons unbeknownst to me, she chose not to maintain the friendship. I learned that would be the “norm” for many friendships over the yrs. Now, I just pray when I relocate that God will bring me someone….they come and go, but are there when there is a need. Love and hugs, Jane

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