Tag: love

The Perfect Quilt

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Stunning, artistic colors and designs, impeccable cutting and pristine points-each a component of the beautiful and loving quilts made by the “men in gray.’ Yes, each are created by men, but not just any men. These men are incarcerated in the Missouri penal system.

I was literally in astonishment as I viewed this documentary. They are imprisoned for crimes from illegal drugs to murder, but they must possess spotless records as inmates. Yet, this penal system recognizes these men are people, they are individuals who made tragic mistakes in their lives; most as very young men. While some of these men are now well into their senior years, they have found a purpose in life. Some are large men with hands akin to those of lumberjacks, but so tenderly and lovingly create these works of art.

Each quilt is bestowed upon a child in the foster care system. When the men choose the colors and designs for their creations, I immediately thought of how my life has been planned and designed by God. Very few individuals in life can state they planned their lives as they are now living. Most all of us have plans, but then “life happens.” Tragedy, circumstances and/or other persons alter our lives. However, as I have shared previously, nothing happens to us as God’s children,  that He hasn’t already planned for us.

Unlike the inmates checking a list of children in the foster care system needing a quilt, God already knows us and our needs. He chooses whether the quilt of our lives will be bright and colorful or softer with pastel colors. Sometimes our lives are a quilt of many colors and hues.

The blocks will contain some squares like the foundation of our homes and lives;  more planned and structured. Other blocks will have pointed triangles which may represent situations in our lives which were prominent and altered. Some blocks are appliqued with beautiful embellishments, reminiscent of those events in our lives which filled us with exultation; marriages, births and countless celebrations.

Occasionally there are quilts which are made with rows of fabric, which are the same sizes and shapes, but those are not as interesting as the quilts with more shapes and designs. All are unique and not identical unless they were mass produced in a factory.

We are not mass produced. We are all God’s unique and individual creations; flawed yet so perfect to Him. The proud inmates held up their quilts for the camera, to be viewed by hundreds of individuals before they were presented to the grateful recipient.  We too are quilts on display. There are bright vivid colors and designs of the times of challenges and trials. There are the soft hues of when our life was gentle and more routine.

When God holds up His quilts what do others see? Is the quilt still pristine as God designed it or has it been stained, ripped or cut apart because we chose to “fight” God’s plan for our lives?  Proverbs 16:9 NIV “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”

Where They Once Stood

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They happen in numerous settings.  Some are lavish, others are unassuming. Some are traditional while others are “free spirited” and “artistic.” Some cost millions of dollars, others cost a few hundred dollars. But all achieve the same success. They bring together a husband and wife vowing to love the other for eternity; a marriage and wedding ceremony.

Weddings most often also bring a flood of tears and memories of yesteryear. They are one of the most cherished elements of any family, for we know a marriage is the beginning of a new union. Parents and grandparents realize this is where they once stood with hopes and dreams for their future. Now, the young bride and groom possess the same goals; to live a long, full and blessed life with the one they love.

I recently had the joy of celebrating such an event with one of my granddaughters. The wedding was beautiful and so unlike mine which had been on the very same date fifty-six years prior. My wedding was small and modest. I have heard our pastor’s wife’s words in my heart and mind countless times, “this is the fanciest wedding our church has ever had.”

Certainly this validates the phrase of being in the eye of the beholder. Our humble church was filled with approximately one hundred people; the most our church could accommodate. It was the era of cake and punch following the ceremony.  However, the church was so small, it had no fellowship hall. The local community center became that venue.

Because my groom and I paid for our entire wedding, my mother and I had sewed for months making all the dresses and other necessary accessories for weddings of the 1960’s. Now, as my beautiful granddaughter walked down the aisle with her groom, she was overjoyed with the dreams of the future awaiting them. I too shared those same aspirations on my wedding day.

It was a magnificent day for our family during our granddaughter’s wedding. My son’s toast to his daughter and the father/daughter dance left most of the guests with tear stained smiles. I had prayed earnestly that God would give me additional strength for the day.

As many Christian female speakers and authors have shared in their bible studies and testimonies, marital betrayal and unfaithfulness is one of the most sorrowful experiences in their lives. Certainly it was for me. As I had begged and pleaded with my then husband to save our marriage for the sake of our family, he shared only that he had not loved me for over forty years. He proclaimed his heart was with his mistress for she is the one he cared about.

As couples in our family sat hand in hand, sharing glances of love and commitment for their own marriages and now our granddaughter, I could only “cry out to God” in silence to give me the power to endure my grief. For it was moments like this that I had reminded my then husband that he and his mistress could not share.

I’m grateful that I could call upon God to give me the strength which only He could give. My heart is scarred with the grief of betrayal, but how I rejoiced in the  beauty of the day and the memories with the family. NKJ Psalms 29:11 The Lord will give strength to His people; The Lord will bless His people with peace.

He’s Got This!

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She said, “bring your bible study ideas to the meeting.” As I crouched down in my book shelf to retrieve the numerous bible study books and guides, I was astonished at the vast array of the studies I had taken and/or led in the past four to five decades of my life. There they were; in-depth theological studies, lighter studies filled with inspiration and awe, studies with video commentaries and studies that involved hours of diligence in preparation.

 I had two large book bags of studies to share for the meeting. These excluded the Percepts and Bible Study Fellowship studies or the countless studies I had “shared” with other women. These were some of my collection. There was such an immeasurable assortment of authors from the well known which have written countless bible studies to those newer leaders to the field of the immense collection of evangelical Christian bible studies.

 When searching for such studies in a Christian book store, it is similar to perusing the local candy shop. There is something for everyone. If I have spent the past five plus decades of my life in bible studies, then I pondered over my rationale in still coming before the Lord and crying out to Him for an understanding of my life.

Shouldn’t I already understand? Shouldn’t I have the faith and assurance that no matter what happens, this truly is the best for me? Yes, my head does know for I have listened to, read of and studied all these years of God’s love, goodness, mercy and best for each of us, His children. Yet all these decades later, I have one prayer which has remained. The format changes, but the theme remains. I know God knows best, but I grapple in perceiving God’s plan in this sorrow of my life.

I say, “but God, this doesn’t seem fair. God, why does so and so have this and I don’t?  God why can’t I have this, for your word says “this is good?” If it’s good God, then why is it withheld from me?” For some the prayer need is short-term and easily understood. For others, like myself, it has sincerely been a lifetime. The more I pray and the longer the time passes, the more I have to accept that God truly does know best and His plan  is perfect.

These are the moments and times alone with God that I can say, “God thank you that you do love me. Thank you that you do know best for me.”  For now, I’m grateful for the countless bible study authors and opportunities to be reminded of His promises to us. It is also the fellowship with other Christians while studying that reminds me of God’s assurances.

What a joy it is to know that even though I have been coming to God for all these decades with a passionate prayer, He continues to stand right there with me, holding my hand and letting me know “He’s got this.”  Isaiah 41:10 NIV, “so do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. “

Would You Like a Cup of Tea?

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When Calls The Heart or as we might more aptly state, “when the heart calls.” What then? What happens when our hearts call us to act. This Hallmark series doesn’t disappoint. Due to the longevity of this series, it covers all seasons and emotions of our lives. From birth through death. Instead of rags to riches, the series focuses on the life of one that had wealth, but chose to leave it to serve others, to be a part of “real life” with “real people”, those struggling to survive.

We all know the wealthy have “real lives”, but to us as outsiders, it seems their lives are surreal. Thus, when persons whether in Hollywood or in reality give all of that up to serve others, we are in awe. This is one of many of life’s lessons in this Hallmark story of life in the early twentieth century.

Certainly the romantic aspect of the series “pulls” many of us females into its’ story line. I have shed more than one tear when there are moments of giving to others more than yourself. It is seldom we experience those acts of kindness and love. Yes, the story is filled with natural disasters and “neighbors helping neighbors.”

Perhaps one of my favorite aspects of this series is that a cup of tea with a friend and neighbor seems to make all things better. It’s not only sitting down together without the distraction of cell phones, television or any of the other current  so-called conveniences, but the fact that there is always time for another person. I know while watching this series it is merely “Hallmark Hollywood”, but how I love seeing mankind care about another.

I recall a time I would have so greatly appreciated “just a moment.” While enduring the greatest heartache of my life, three separate women at church had stated, “if you ever need us, just call.” On a day when I felt I could not take even one more step, I reached out to each of the three; all without success. The first noted, “I’m busy, I’m at a restaurant.” The second stated, “I’m busy, I’m at a ball game.” With the third I left a voice mail message on her phone, but she never returned the call.

I didn’t want their physical presence or anything tangible from them. Yet, they didn’t know for they all quoted, “I’m too busy” when all I wanted was prayer. Free to them, yet a great gift to me. There was my heavenly Father, ears and heart open to my sorrows. I learned from then on, it is seldom, if not always that earthly family or friends don’t have the time or care when our needs are often the greatest.

But not in this Hallmark series! Perhaps that is the reason many of us reminisce over similar times in the series noted above. I have made it a sincere vow to stop anytime anyone asks me to “reach out” and take their hand. Like my request, it is most often just needing prayer, but if there is a physical need, I want to be there for them. I want to have those “china cup, tea” moments. We know it isn’t the tea or coffee which soothes a heart, but knowing someone gave a little of themselves when you were in great need. Hebrews 13:16 NKJ, “But do not forget to do good and to share for with such sacrifices God is well.”

Too Many Changes!

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What? Ninety-two degrees in February! Confusing and perplexing, this is one of the many world changes I have no interest in accepting.  Yet, we must, for we can’t change it! Even though Texas is warmer than many other states in our country, summer temperatures in winter are still most unusual. We can accept it with a smile or complain, but we all know complaining doesn’t change those things which we can’t alter.

Life is a series of changes, but how often I reflect on those changes which we all anticipate, such as maturing and aging-we know this is inevitable. We understand our children will develop into teens and young adults, choosing and beginning their own lives. We know it is predictable, yet most of us are saddened by the occurrence. Why? We too experienced that foreseeable aspect of life. Cycles of our lives are much easier to accept than these unexpected and misunderstood patterns.

I think about the many changes in everyday life in the last few decades. I recall going to a “washateria”, now a laundromat, but in the 1950’s, it was a washateria with wringer style washing machines. Then we loaded the wet laundry in baskets and returned back home to hang it on the line. Oh the fragrance of sun-dried clothes! But what a convenience to toss clothes in the automatics washing machine with a dryer alongside it!

How many of us love the change of electric dishwashers? I recall as a toddler standing at the counter in our basement home, drying the dishes my mother had washed by hand. I was well into my twenties before I encountered the convenience of a dishwasher. I have often said, I would give up my dishwasher before I gave up my electric garage door opener.  I might have to rethink that statement when I had a sink full of dirty dishes and pans. So many changes, so many conveniences.

The list of changes is lengthy; some I would have preferred remained as they were. Cell phones are convenient at times, but how rewarding it was to hear a phone ring and pick it up to hear a kind voice on the other end desiring to “talk” to me, not merely text me or send me an e-mail.

How do we handle those unplanned and/or unforeseen changes? The loss of a job, unexpected moves to a new town or state or greater is the loss of a spouse or child, which can leave us devastated. We cry, we grieve, we pray and trust, but we must move forward.  Some may desire to remain mired in grief and sorrow. However, this deprives individuals of the new adventures awaiting them.

Many are astounded that I travel alone as much as I do. I travel alone, or not at all. There is much to see in this incredible world God created to not experience the beauty. I’ve also met people along the way which are now added to my mind’s memory book. Oh change! We can go with it or contest it, but it doesn’t prevent it from happening.  Isaiah 43:19 NIV, “see I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?…”

Living Well

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We all have those moments in our lives when for that “time” we can just forget our daily woes and challenges of life,  focusing solely on the memories we are making. This was the beautiful experience I had recently when celebrating the life of my cherished, Aunt Joan.  She had been more of a mother to me than my own mother.

She and I would  often cry and laugh for hours at a time; most times via telephone as we were over 1,200 miles apart. Yet she was always close in my thoughts and prayers. After a full and blessed life, God called Joan home at age ninety-two. Her memorial service was truly a celebration. Yes, there were tears as we miss her, but joy in knowing she was welcomed “home.” Her husband and three of their six children had pre-deceased her, so I know she is delighting in every minute with them.

As I reflected on her life; it was not one of grandeur or wealth, esteem or fame. It was far more! It was a life “well-lived” for God and her family. She not only lived well, but she loved well. She loved with all her heart. I recalled during one of our conversations when she was in her eighties, that she had been canning for days after planting a large garden. I cried when her daughter mentioned this during the memorial service.

Just as my cousin wondered why she had planted such a large garden as a senior, empty-nester for just she and my uncle, Joan noted it was for the Lord-for their church. Joan would can dozens of jars a year to donate to the church for meals. “Loving with all her heart”, that’s what she always did. Just as with all of us, she had her moments of disappointment and frustration, but I never knew her to be unpleasant or offensive during these times. From my decades of memories with her, God was always the center of her life and actions.

As the family joined in the remembrance of Joan, there was much laughter, interspersed with a little sadness. We chuckled at events when her children were younger, but also saddened as we discussed her aging.  Perhaps the greatest detriment to aging is losing our independence, as growing older so often takes that from each of us. Thus, it was when Joan realized she no longer had the faculties and acuity to continue driving.

I had last visited her to celebrate her eighty-ninth birthday. During that time, she and I went out driving. No, it was not like “Driving Miss Daisy” that she was being chauffeured, but that she was doing the driving. It was important she realized she needed to relinquish her driver’s license and not that it was taken from her. Even though she desired to overlook her miscalculations, she understood it was time for her to become “Miss Daisy.”

I still cry as I think about her for she was one of the most kind and loving persons, I’ve ever known. She lived her life well and isn’t that the most important asset any of us can possess? Ephesians 4:32 NKJ, “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

Do What?

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Can I really do this? Jesus is and was perfect. Can I really learn to love as He did? Those of us in one of the ministries at Stonebriar Community Church, pastor Chuck Swindoll, were given the book, Love Walked Among Us, Learning to Love Like Jesus, by Paul Miller. Just reading the title made my heart flicker with the reality of all persons being more loving to others.

How often do to we begin our day praying to be a “light” to those we meet and before our day has barely begun there is a situation which causes us to think and perhaps say aloud, “how can you expect me to love like Jesus? Paul states, “it’s in the little moments with friends and family that most of us reveal our true selves…How do you love someone when you get no love in return-only withdrawal or ingratitude…the person of Jesus is a plumb line to which we may align our lives.”

We know that “loving like Jesus” is not always a physical love, but an emotional and caring love. Even if we feel our world is falling apart, we can reach out to others in such love. Of course we may not “feel like” loving others. Yet, if we do, how does it change our perspective of our own lives?

Smiling at people passing by,  allowing others to cut ahead of you in lines, allowing other drivers “in.” That can be a challenging act of love when they don’t even thank you or acknowledge that you allowed them to cut ahead of you.  How often have you been in line shopping when the person ahead of you was “short” by a few cents or dollars? You gladly handed them the balance they needed.

The way we love like Jesus is immeasurable. It’s not always in acts like those just listed, but it’s how we conduct ourselves in the midst of hurt or sorrow. Recently my sole surviving aunt passed away. In her nineties, she was truly a light for Jesus until her very last day.  She endured some pain in her last weeks of life, but I learned she never had an unkind word for anyone. She was loving and gracious until her last breath. She loved like Jesus.

Over the years, I’ve been blessed when I could sit with and pray with friends over lunch or a cup of coffee. Some of these were not even friends, but strangers. I shall never forget volunteering at a local benevolence center in Oklahoma when one of the patrons needed not only food assistance, but also “Jesus love.” She needed support and prayers. I could give that and she cried as she thanked me. I cried too for it is truly a gift when we can give to others, that which costs us nothing, but our love and time.

Opportunities are plentiful. Often my prayer is that God will place someone in my path that day, which needs “His love.” Paul sums up Jesus love in this way, “ His name is recognized the world over. Christians claim to follow Him. Muslims honor him as a prophet. And many Jewish rabbis regard him as a great teacher…Jesus was love personified walking among us.” John 13:34 NIV “ a new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

Is There Water in the Bottle?

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As I opened my Facebook today, a friend posted a borrowed quote from Anthony Hopkins, “Brutal.” The words spoke volumes to me, as I feel they probably would with each of you; reminders that we can’t make people love or accept us. We can’t change things which others do, but above all our actions are ours alone and must not be dictated by others.

I’m sharing a few of his comments as we enter a new year. As the pastor said Sunday, he doesn’t believe in New Year’s resolutions for too often they are broken by January 15th. He prefers to set goals. This is a wise choice as most of us can achieve goals, but it is more difficult to keep “a firm decision to do or not do something”, which is the definition of a resolution.

Each January 1st, I have hopes and dreams of things which might happen during the year ahead. However, because God controls my life, then He often has plans for me which I must “adjust and adapt.” As I reflected on Anthony’s list, I opted to use a few of them as goals for myself.

“Let go of people who are not ready to love you.” This was and remains one of the most difficult. For there are people I loved as deeply and intensely as I thought humanly possible, but the love was not returned and I had to learn to “move on” and to accept “what is.”

“Stop having difficult conversations with people who don’t want to change.” This statement was very attached to mine about love.  I so earnestly desired an understanding of why the person(s) didn’t love me. They didn’t desire to change, so the conversation for understanding was futile.

 Anthony also states, “It doesn’t mean you have to change who you are, it means you have to let go of people who aren’t ready to be with you.” I know each of us have people in our lives, in this category; some friends, others family.  Anthony continued, “the most valuable thing you have in your life is your time and energy, as both are limited. Make your life a safe haven, where only people “compatible” with you are allowed. Decision to distance yourself from toxic people, will give you the love, esteem, happiness and protection you deserve.”

As Christians, we desire to be people others yearn to be with in friendship and love. We are so often reminded that we can’t grant love to others if we aren’t filled with God’s love. Just as a bottle of water provides refreshing water, it is what is in the vessel which is then bestowed. If we are filled with anger and hatred, we cannot impart God’s love.

 As we enter into this new year, then perhaps this can be a goal of ours, to be what God desires us to be, so that others may aspire not only be with us, but to be like us. I Cor. 13: 4 NKJ, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up.”