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I Would Have Pulled…

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As I opened my Facebook today, a friend had posted a poignant commentary by Kimberly Henderson of Proverbs 31 ministries. Kimberly noted, “ I would have pulled Joseph out of that pit…pulled David out of Saul’s spear-throwing presence…pulled Esther out of being snatched from her only family…pulled Jesus off the cross…And oh friend. I want to pull you out. I want to change your path. I want to stop your pain. But right now I know I would be wrong. I would be out of line. I would be cheating you and cheating the world out of so much good…so instead of trying to pull you out, I’m lifting you up.”

How often have we tried and changed God’s plan and will for our lives? When I was a seminary student in the 1960’s, we learned of God’s permissive will and His perfect or divine will. Charles Stanley noted “the predetermined will of God is when there are certain events that the Lord has predestined to occur, and no one can thwart His sovereignty.”

Yet, how often do we deliberately change what we know is God’s will? It may be a career, relationship or religious decision. We know God was directing us to do something, but we chose otherwise. Sometimes our selfish and stubborn wills bring disappointment and heartache to not only one other person, but many.

As a young teen, my father shared with our family and our church congregation that God was calling him into full-time ministry. Yet, he walked away. He chose his own path and until the day he passed away, he was always “seeking.”  My father’s choice was between him and God, but Dad’s life remained a struggle. I’ve always wondered if it was because he chose “his will”, not God’s. Those are queries only God and Dad could answer.

Dr. David Jermiah cites, “each of us has been given our own independent will. It can be an asset or a liability. It all depends on how we position our will in relation to the will that really matters-the will of God.”

Some of the greatest examples of personal wills affecting many,  are when a person chooses to drink and drive, causing the death of innocent persons. In Ephesians 5:18, the bible clearly notes, do not get drunk on wine…” When individuals are drunk their actions and cognitive abilities are impaired.

Was it God’s will for a  spouse  to be unfaithful; breaking the vow they took to love and honor their mate until death? When such egoistical actions transpire,  entire families endure the sorrow of one person’s decision. If there are children, they lose the security of knowing their parents loved one another for an eternity. Whether the children are young or adults with families of their own, the broken union of their parents is distressing.

Whether actions are God’s predetermined will or a person’s will, God will walk with the individual and survivors of the occurrence. I think of the countless natural disasters the world endures. Those were God ordained, but He is right there to “pull that person” up or out of the situation.  What a gift to know He is there for all situations we face whether His plan or our egocentricity. Psalm 40:8 NIV, “ I desire to do your will, my God.”

Would You Like a Cup of Tea?

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When Calls The Heart or as we might more aptly state, “when the heart calls.” What then? What happens when our hearts call us to act. This Hallmark series doesn’t disappoint. Due to the longevity of this series, it covers all seasons and emotions of our lives. From birth through death. Instead of rags to riches, the series focuses on the life of one that had wealth, but chose to leave it to serve others, to be a part of “real life” with “real people”, those struggling to survive.

We all know the wealthy have “real lives”, but to us as outsiders, it seems their lives are surreal. Thus, when persons whether in Hollywood or in reality give all of that up to serve others, we are in awe. This is one of many of life’s lessons in this Hallmark story of life in the early twentieth century.

Certainly the romantic aspect of the series “pulls” many of us females into its’ story line. I have shed more than one tear when there are moments of giving to others more than yourself. It is seldom we experience those acts of kindness and love. Yes, the story is filled with natural disasters and “neighbors helping neighbors.”

Perhaps one of my favorite aspects of this series is that a cup of tea with a friend and neighbor seems to make all things better. It’s not only sitting down together without the distraction of cell phones, television or any of the other current  so-called conveniences, but the fact that there is always time for another person. I know while watching this series it is merely “Hallmark Hollywood”, but how I love seeing mankind care about another.

I recall a time I would have so greatly appreciated “just a moment.” While enduring the greatest heartache of my life, three separate women at church had stated, “if you ever need us, just call.” On a day when I felt I could not take even one more step, I reached out to each of the three; all without success. The first noted, “I’m busy, I’m at a restaurant.” The second stated, “I’m busy, I’m at a ball game.” With the third I left a voice mail message on her phone, but she never returned the call.

I didn’t want their physical presence or anything tangible from them. Yet, they didn’t know for they all quoted, “I’m too busy” when all I wanted was prayer. Free to them, yet a great gift to me. There was my heavenly Father, ears and heart open to my sorrows. I learned from then on, it is seldom, if not always that earthly family or friends don’t have the time or care when our needs are often the greatest.

But not in this Hallmark series! Perhaps that is the reason many of us reminisce over similar times in the series noted above. I have made it a sincere vow to stop anytime anyone asks me to “reach out” and take their hand. Like my request, it is most often just needing prayer, but if there is a physical need, I want to be there for them. I want to have those “china cup, tea” moments. We know it isn’t the tea or coffee which soothes a heart, but knowing someone gave a little of themselves when you were in great need. Hebrews 13:16 NKJ, “But do not forget to do good and to share for with such sacrifices God is well.”

Too Many Changes!

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What? Ninety-two degrees in February! Confusing and perplexing, this is one of the many world changes I have no interest in accepting.  Yet, we must, for we can’t change it! Even though Texas is warmer than many other states in our country, summer temperatures in winter are still most unusual. We can accept it with a smile or complain, but we all know complaining doesn’t change those things which we can’t alter.

Life is a series of changes, but how often I reflect on those changes which we all anticipate, such as maturing and aging-we know this is inevitable. We understand our children will develop into teens and young adults, choosing and beginning their own lives. We know it is predictable, yet most of us are saddened by the occurrence. Why? We too experienced that foreseeable aspect of life. Cycles of our lives are much easier to accept than these unexpected and misunderstood patterns.

I think about the many changes in everyday life in the last few decades. I recall going to a “washateria”, now a laundromat, but in the 1950’s, it was a washateria with wringer style washing machines. Then we loaded the wet laundry in baskets and returned back home to hang it on the line. Oh the fragrance of sun-dried clothes! But what a convenience to toss clothes in the automatics washing machine with a dryer alongside it!

How many of us love the change of electric dishwashers? I recall as a toddler standing at the counter in our basement home, drying the dishes my mother had washed by hand. I was well into my twenties before I encountered the convenience of a dishwasher. I have often said, I would give up my dishwasher before I gave up my electric garage door opener.  I might have to rethink that statement when I had a sink full of dirty dishes and pans. So many changes, so many conveniences.

The list of changes is lengthy; some I would have preferred remained as they were. Cell phones are convenient at times, but how rewarding it was to hear a phone ring and pick it up to hear a kind voice on the other end desiring to “talk” to me, not merely text me or send me an e-mail.

How do we handle those unplanned and/or unforeseen changes? The loss of a job, unexpected moves to a new town or state or greater is the loss of a spouse or child, which can leave us devastated. We cry, we grieve, we pray and trust, but we must move forward.  Some may desire to remain mired in grief and sorrow. However, this deprives individuals of the new adventures awaiting them.

Many are astounded that I travel alone as much as I do. I travel alone, or not at all. There is much to see in this incredible world God created to not experience the beauty. I’ve also met people along the way which are now added to my mind’s memory book. Oh change! We can go with it or contest it, but it doesn’t prevent it from happening.  Isaiah 43:19 NIV, “see I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?…”

Living Well

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We all have those moments in our lives when for that “time” we can just forget our daily woes and challenges of life,  focusing solely on the memories we are making. This was the beautiful experience I had recently when celebrating the life of my cherished, Aunt Joan.  She had been more of a mother to me than my own mother.

She and I would  often cry and laugh for hours at a time; most times via telephone as we were over 1,200 miles apart. Yet she was always close in my thoughts and prayers. After a full and blessed life, God called Joan home at age ninety-two. Her memorial service was truly a celebration. Yes, there were tears as we miss her, but joy in knowing she was welcomed “home.” Her husband and three of their six children had pre-deceased her, so I know she is delighting in every minute with them.

As I reflected on her life; it was not one of grandeur or wealth, esteem or fame. It was far more! It was a life “well-lived” for God and her family. She not only lived well, but she loved well. She loved with all her heart. I recalled during one of our conversations when she was in her eighties, that she had been canning for days after planting a large garden. I cried when her daughter mentioned this during the memorial service.

Just as my cousin wondered why she had planted such a large garden as a senior, empty-nester for just she and my uncle, Joan noted it was for the Lord-for their church. Joan would can dozens of jars a year to donate to the church for meals. “Loving with all her heart”, that’s what she always did. Just as with all of us, she had her moments of disappointment and frustration, but I never knew her to be unpleasant or offensive during these times. From my decades of memories with her, God was always the center of her life and actions.

As the family joined in the remembrance of Joan, there was much laughter, interspersed with a little sadness. We chuckled at events when her children were younger, but also saddened as we discussed her aging.  Perhaps the greatest detriment to aging is losing our independence, as growing older so often takes that from each of us. Thus, it was when Joan realized she no longer had the faculties and acuity to continue driving.

I had last visited her to celebrate her eighty-ninth birthday. During that time, she and I went out driving. No, it was not like “Driving Miss Daisy” that she was being chauffeured, but that she was doing the driving. It was important she realized she needed to relinquish her driver’s license and not that it was taken from her. Even though she desired to overlook her miscalculations, she understood it was time for her to become “Miss Daisy.”

I still cry as I think about her for she was one of the most kind and loving persons, I’ve ever known. She lived her life well and isn’t that the most important asset any of us can possess? Ephesians 4:32 NKJ, “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

Do What?

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Can I really do this? Jesus is and was perfect. Can I really learn to love as He did? Those of us in one of the ministries at Stonebriar Community Church, pastor Chuck Swindoll, were given the book, Love Walked Among Us, Learning to Love Like Jesus, by Paul Miller. Just reading the title made my heart flicker with the reality of all persons being more loving to others.

How often do to we begin our day praying to be a “light” to those we meet and before our day has barely begun there is a situation which causes us to think and perhaps say aloud, “how can you expect me to love like Jesus? Paul states, “it’s in the little moments with friends and family that most of us reveal our true selves…How do you love someone when you get no love in return-only withdrawal or ingratitude…the person of Jesus is a plumb line to which we may align our lives.”

We know that “loving like Jesus” is not always a physical love, but an emotional and caring love. Even if we feel our world is falling apart, we can reach out to others in such love. Of course we may not “feel like” loving others. Yet, if we do, how does it change our perspective of our own lives?

Smiling at people passing by,  allowing others to cut ahead of you in lines, allowing other drivers “in.” That can be a challenging act of love when they don’t even thank you or acknowledge that you allowed them to cut ahead of you.  How often have you been in line shopping when the person ahead of you was “short” by a few cents or dollars? You gladly handed them the balance they needed.

The way we love like Jesus is immeasurable. It’s not always in acts like those just listed, but it’s how we conduct ourselves in the midst of hurt or sorrow. Recently my sole surviving aunt passed away. In her nineties, she was truly a light for Jesus until her very last day.  She endured some pain in her last weeks of life, but I learned she never had an unkind word for anyone. She was loving and gracious until her last breath. She loved like Jesus.

Over the years, I’ve been blessed when I could sit with and pray with friends over lunch or a cup of coffee. Some of these were not even friends, but strangers. I shall never forget volunteering at a local benevolence center in Oklahoma when one of the patrons needed not only food assistance, but also “Jesus love.” She needed support and prayers. I could give that and she cried as she thanked me. I cried too for it is truly a gift when we can give to others, that which costs us nothing, but our love and time.

Opportunities are plentiful. Often my prayer is that God will place someone in my path that day, which needs “His love.” Paul sums up Jesus love in this way, “ His name is recognized the world over. Christians claim to follow Him. Muslims honor him as a prophet. And many Jewish rabbis regard him as a great teacher…Jesus was love personified walking among us.” John 13:34 NIV “ a new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

Just One?

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Recently while attending a women’s luncheon at my church, the speaker gave a devotion on the wagon of rocks by Janet Keisel. Janet shared with her readers how we all live in busy and hectic worlds pulled in many directions knowing that each of us have to decide which things take priorities in our lives.

As our speaker shared the devotion, “the story is told of a man who met God one day. God asked him to take a wagon with a rock to the top of the mountain. God gave the man specific instructions, sketching a map in the dust. The man cheerfully set off pulling  the wagon behind him.”

 The man met others along the way, asking the man to also carry their rocks in his wagon. When the man reached his destination, he was discouraged and worn out from the heavy load with all the other rocks. He told God it was too much for him to bear. God reminded him, he had given him a wagon with one rock and a specific task.

Yet, how often do we “take on” other responsibilities. Years ago, I recalled so vividly the pastor’s sermon on doing so much for our church and God, that we forsake our families and the role God gave us. Even though it was decades ago I heard this sermon, it has been  easy to “take on too much” forsaking the rock God called me to carry.  How often have you heard people say, “if you want a task done, ask a busy person, for they are the ones to do it.”

We feel we can’t say no, but we can indeed. God gave us a wagon to make our load easier, not to load it down with assorted and trivial things which merely “keep us busy.” So often we can see this in other’s lives, yet we have failed to remove the boulder from our eye to see that we too do this very thing. We may not like the task God gave us to do. We feel it is not as worthy as what He has given others.

Thus, we take on more and more obligations until we are so weighed down we can’t pull our wagons or even manage to walk up the hill. Our families are pleading with us to “stop” or “slow down”, but we feel we have something to prove. We have nothing to prove if it isn’t what God asked us to do. We have made ourselves grander than God. We have said we believe we know better than God.

These past twelve years of my life have been filled with life lessons, but perhaps the greatest has been in knowing that I can do nothing without God. He hasn’t always given me a wagon to make my load easier. He has sometimes asked me to carry the large rock alone and it was heavy. I panted and sweated as I carried the rock. Yet, God was always at my side if I needed assistance. NKJ Luke 16:10 “he who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much…”

Is This A Loss?

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Another Christmas is history. The gifts which you spent days and/or perhaps weeks searching for and the stress you felt in having the finances to purchase them have now been granted and opened. Hopefully, the recipients were as joyful to receive them as you were in presenting them.

The Christmas cards, perhaps not as plentiful as in years past have now been received and are either going to be discarded or saved in a scrapbook to be discarded at a later date. The Christmas meal which you spent hours planning, shopping for and preparing was a few leftovers you sent home with the guests or stored away for a later meal.  Fine china, crystal and silver have been washed, dried and packed away until the next special “once a year” event.

You might not have been invited to the party which you anticipated attending. The festive attire you had indulged in purchasing didn’t look as elegant on the night of the gala as it did when you were trying it on in the store. The anticipation of the gift(s) you had hoped for was never received.

But what if none of the above was a portion of your Christmas? What if, you were alone for the holiday? What if you didn’t attend even one party? What if you didn’t have even one gift to open? Was this still a holiday to remember? Yes, it was. Albeit, probably not one you wish to recall vividly, but even the most uneventful holidays can still hold warm memories. God granted you one more year, one more opportunity to experience this special day.

As a young bride and mother-to-be, one of my most memorable Christmases was while living with my then husband in Ft. Benning, Georgia. We were as poor that Christmas as we might have ever been. The officers were given “time off” for the holiday, but we were unable to travel home to be with family, as we didn’t have the finances to do so.

Many of the officers and their wives were taking a holiday trip to Atlanta. What an excitement for two young kids from Oklahoma. Yet, how far could we travel on two dollars? Yes, just two dollars. We didn’t have a credit card to “buy now and pay later.” We didn’t have parents to “float us a loan.” We were on our own with only the two dollars and big wishes.

 We drove to Atlanta, but no fancy meals, gift shopping or driving any further than the gas in our car would take us. We were hungry after consuming what few snacks we had packed in our car. Big times in the big city called for two big spenders to purchase two fifty cent burgers and to share one fry. That was it. Our money was gone. Does that mean this Christmas was a loss? No!

I knew that in approximately three months we would be with our new baby, beginning a new life.  That Christmas was one day out of hundreds of days for the remainder of my life. I counted my blessings and was grateful for what God had granted us. So then what is left of this holiday? Another year-another opportunity to spend with family and friends, but most of all we know, it is the eternal gift of the Savior’s love and sacrifice for each of us. Yet, how often is this lost in all the hustle and bustle of the holiday season? Isaiah 9:6 NKJ, “For unto us a child is born, Unto us a son is given…Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”

New Memories in a New Land

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As I sat in my hotel room, each morning I listened to the audio book while preparing for my day. As the author spoke of “letting go” of past hurtful memories and “clinging” to those happy ones, she also stated sometimes we must hold close those memories which encompass both the positive and negative. However, it is very important to make new memories so that we can move forward. New memories have become an integral part of my life. The author knew what it was to have her aspirations altered, necessitating an unexpected life design.

I have never met a person whose life was as they planned and/ or dreamed.  As youth and young adults we all envision our lives. I recall so vividly planning my life and family as a class project when I was in middle school, home economics class. We had to submit a sketch of our home, discuss our careers and  describe our “ideal” family.  The “plan”  was partially correct, but life took me on a much different journey than I had intended.

My “dream” family of that class assignment consisted of two children; a daughter and a son just as God blessed me with, but that was as far as those life blueprints succeeded. The home, career and family were nothing like my aspiration. I was not able to be the full-time “stay at home” wife and mother I had so greatly desired. We didn’t remain in the same house with the picket fence as in my class assignment, but we moved over twenty-two times in less than forty-four years. My desires for long-time friends were replaced with many acquaintances in the cities and neighborhoods where we briefly resided.

Now as I sat in my hotel room quietly listening to the words of the author, my new memories included people I had met from across the U.S. Each of us were experiencing another country with cultures, habits and lives different from our own. What a joy it was to have such an opportunity.

While rearing our children, because we didn’t travel, we hosted countless international guests from all over the world. Some stayed with us a few days, others for weeks at a time and some we hosted “as our family” for several years. We welcomed them around our table for holiday meals. They also attended church and community events with our family. Those times were treasured and cherished memories.

But now, I’m that international traveler. I’m not staying in their home, but am sharing their country and culture. What a blessing it has been to learn from others of  their travels and routines in their daily lives and residency.  

Thus, as the author noted, I am making new memories, while also recalling those precious times of the past.  Even though Deuteronomy speaks to the Israelites of God’s promises to them, it should also be a reminder to each of us, that wherever we are, we will be blessed. Deuteronomy 28:3 NIV, “you will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country.”

Delicate Leaves

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What a  beautiful gift. I had waited for weeks for its’ arrival. However, I knew hundreds of others were also awaiting this gift from God. Rain-rain!  Rain and falling leaves! Had fall finally arrived? Because the stores had begun their fall displays and sales shortly after our July 4th celebrations, would my display of pumpkins and fall decorations in September hasten its’ arrival?

If the store displays and my decorating wouldn’t accelerate fall’s appearance then certainly all the Pumpkin Spice “everything” must allow fall to show its’ colored foliage and cooler days.  No, the temperature was still warmer than normal for this time of year. For weeks I had gazed upon my sweaters, hoping I could wear even one for a day or two. Yet, the warm, humid days hung on, even though the calendar had commenced fall weeks ago.

Fall has always been my favorite season of the year. I despise the long, hot summer days, so I have eagerly anticipated fall. I love the beauty of spring, but also realize it is alerting us to summer which is arriving sooner than desired. Yet, with fall, I have the anticipation of a few cooler months.

Flannel jammies, fire places blazing, sweaters, warm mittens, cider and hot chocolate with marshmallows are some of my favorite “gifts” of the winter season, which can warm almost any cold heart. Although in Texas, most of the “winter” images must be replaced with short sleeved tops, light weight jackets and merely thoughts of “blazing fires.”  I can still savor a cup of hot cider or chocolate and reminisce of the days when the calendar appeared and felt more like the month it was displaying.

Joseph Rhea shares his thoughts on autumn. “ In Autumn, the creativity of God hollers. Look at these things! These paper-thin solar cells that convert sunlight into acorns! They’re everywhere, and they’re made by a God who…doesn’t know how to stop creating. Autumn reminds us that there’s a world of wonder. Spring and summer have their splendors. But autumn has a glory all its own. Autumn leaves are delicate, but their colors are so bright they almost shine. Summer’s wardrobe of green is great, but it has nothing on the end-of-life beauty of the fall.”

As I read Joseph’s words, I thought of our lives. Some of us are in the fall, knowing that soon will be the last season of our lives; winter.  Yet, until God calls  us home, there is beauty. We might truly be more fragile like the delicate leaves Joseph spoke of, but we can be a world of wonder. I’ve so often said “for as long as God allows,  I desire to be used for Him.”  I want His light to shine through my leaves. I want others to see my colors; the colors of God’s love.

If we have not allowed God to nourish us in the spring and summer seasons of our lives, as we arrive  in the more delicate and fragile season, our leaves won’t be bright. 2 Timothy 4:2 NIV, “preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke, and encourage-with great patience and careful instruction..”

Are You Real?

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Recently I blogged about the billboard stating, “real men love babies.” I realized I might not understand the motive if I didn’t research the billboard. It is sponsored by prolifeacrossamerica.org. The information stated this campaign focuses on a father’s role. It also noted, “it is for expecting fathers, including facts about pre-born baby’s development, such as heartbeat 18 days from conception.” The billboard photos are of several fathers and their babies.

This is an excellent campaign. However, we all understand fatherhood and parenthood for both mothers and fathers extends beyond infancy. There is nothing in the world like holding and gazing upon your newborn child, whether biological or adopted, parenthood is a gift.

There should also be a campaign for those fathers that choose a career above their family. What if a billboard showed a mother and children dining, attending school and/or sports events, taking the children to appointments-alone? The father was working late each night or traveling. He was too busy making money and climbing the ladder of success to be involved with his family. Perhaps such a campaign for parenting should also state, “real fathers place the desires of their family above their own.”

What if that campaign also displayed the heartache of the wife that was left alone to take care of the home and family responsibilities while the father was “living the high life?” What if the “real” story was that “real men love babies and God?”  For there is no way any man that truly loves God does not love his wife and family. Real men choose to allow God to be the leader of his life, family and home. Occasionally, this can be stated of the mother, but statistics cite that the majority of parents choosing career over their family is the father. 

Recently, I was conversing with a family member about the cost of choosing career over  family.  I was gratified to know a young person desired a family over “things.” Whereas, those individuals that choose a career appear to “have it all” to the world. Do they really?

I have known real men and they never chased their own dreams or goals. They were there when there was a family need. Whether it was their wife needing assistance around the house or their children needing a helping hand with a school or sports project, they were there.

As I’m currently studying Titus 2, it is a reminder of how “real men and women” live their lives. NIV Titus 2: 1-3“ You however, must teach what is appropriate to sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live…not to be slanderers…,but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children…so that no one will malign the word of God.

Do we choose to be “real” to God or to the world?