As I was driving home from Casa Court today, I was listening to an interesting segment on the radio about the positive aspects of anger. All of us have heard someone say to us, “why are you angry?” or tell us, “well don’t get angry”, when that emotion was not in our mind nor was it what we were feeling. Did you then say to that person, “well I wasn’t angry until you said that?”
As the psychologists proclaimed the positive aspects of anger, I was reminded of being in counseling years ago and stating to my Christian counselor that I just couldn’t be angry. Seriously he queried, “why?”. I stated my concern, “if I’m angry it will hurt my Christian testimony.” He reminded me anger is a God-given emotion and it’s how we handle that emotion which causes our problems.
As I listened today on the positive traits of anger, I compared those to situations in my life. The psychologists noted anger is calming. We might chuckle at that, as it’s seldom I see a truly angry person acting calmly. Anger helps you cope with the stress and tension, which may leave you feeling calmer. Anger as an energizing trait parallels this philosophy of bringing a calm to our hearts and lives.
The specific trait discussed today was the effects on anger for leaders. Anger gives us a sense of control, helping us to feel in charge, rather than helpless. How often have you used anger to command your requests? You pleaded nicely with your children to do something and after countless times of asking, you then became angry and demanded.
Psychologists have noted most often anger stems from hurt. Thus, we are hurt and over time we may become angry about the situation which brought us this pain. This is especially true when dealing with those we love and rejection from them.
Recently, after a person queried me in depth about some of my interests and volunteer work, I casually commented, “my Dad beat me as a child and now I’m a Casa (Court Appointed Special Advocate) to be there for children that have no voice.” I had no thoughts of anger when the comment was made. It was a statement of my rationale in volunteering as a Casa. Thoughts from my childhood and the realization there was no one to intervene on my behalf when I was being so violently abused, caused me to do something positive.
The emotions God gives us are gifts. If we use them in a positive manner, they can achieve remarkable results. Those emotions thrust upon others in a negative way negate the blessings we can give. NKJ, Ephesians 4:26, Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.”