Tag: gratitude

Where They Once Stood

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They happen in numerous settings.  Some are lavish, others are unassuming. Some are traditional while others are “free spirited” and “artistic.” Some cost millions of dollars, others cost a few hundred dollars. But all achieve the same success. They bring together a husband and wife vowing to love the other for eternity; a marriage and wedding ceremony.

Weddings most often also bring a flood of tears and memories of yesteryear. They are one of the most cherished elements of any family, for we know a marriage is the beginning of a new union. Parents and grandparents realize this is where they once stood with hopes and dreams for their future. Now, the young bride and groom possess the same goals; to live a long, full and blessed life with the one they love.

I recently had the joy of celebrating such an event with one of my granddaughters. The wedding was beautiful and so unlike mine which had been on the very same date fifty-six years prior. My wedding was small and modest. I have heard our pastor’s wife’s words in my heart and mind countless times, “this is the fanciest wedding our church has ever had.”

Certainly this validates the phrase of being in the eye of the beholder. Our humble church was filled with approximately one hundred people; the most our church could accommodate. It was the era of cake and punch following the ceremony.  However, the church was so small, it had no fellowship hall. The local community center became that venue.

Because my groom and I paid for our entire wedding, my mother and I had sewed for months making all the dresses and other necessary accessories for weddings of the 1960’s. Now, as my beautiful granddaughter walked down the aisle with her groom, she was overjoyed with the dreams of the future awaiting them. I too shared those same aspirations on my wedding day.

It was a magnificent day for our family during our granddaughter’s wedding. My son’s toast to his daughter and the father/daughter dance left most of the guests with tear stained smiles. I had prayed earnestly that God would give me additional strength for the day.

As many Christian female speakers and authors have shared in their bible studies and testimonies, marital betrayal and unfaithfulness is one of the most sorrowful experiences in their lives. Certainly it was for me. As I had begged and pleaded with my then husband to save our marriage for the sake of our family, he shared only that he had not loved me for over forty years. He proclaimed his heart was with his mistress for she is the one he cared about.

As couples in our family sat hand in hand, sharing glances of love and commitment for their own marriages and now our granddaughter, I could only “cry out to God” in silence to give me the power to endure my grief. For it was moments like this that I had reminded my then husband that he and his mistress could not share.

I’m grateful that I could call upon God to give me the strength which only He could give. My heart is scarred with the grief of betrayal, but how I rejoiced in the  beauty of the day and the memories with the family. NKJ Psalms 29:11 The Lord will give strength to His people; The Lord will bless His people with peace.

Living Well

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We all have those moments in our lives when for that “time” we can just forget our daily woes and challenges of life,  focusing solely on the memories we are making. This was the beautiful experience I had recently when celebrating the life of my cherished, Aunt Joan.  She had been more of a mother to me than my own mother.

She and I would  often cry and laugh for hours at a time; most times via telephone as we were over 1,200 miles apart. Yet she was always close in my thoughts and prayers. After a full and blessed life, God called Joan home at age ninety-two. Her memorial service was truly a celebration. Yes, there were tears as we miss her, but joy in knowing she was welcomed “home.” Her husband and three of their six children had pre-deceased her, so I know she is delighting in every minute with them.

As I reflected on her life; it was not one of grandeur or wealth, esteem or fame. It was far more! It was a life “well-lived” for God and her family. She not only lived well, but she loved well. She loved with all her heart. I recalled during one of our conversations when she was in her eighties, that she had been canning for days after planting a large garden. I cried when her daughter mentioned this during the memorial service.

Just as my cousin wondered why she had planted such a large garden as a senior, empty-nester for just she and my uncle, Joan noted it was for the Lord-for their church. Joan would can dozens of jars a year to donate to the church for meals. “Loving with all her heart”, that’s what she always did. Just as with all of us, she had her moments of disappointment and frustration, but I never knew her to be unpleasant or offensive during these times. From my decades of memories with her, God was always the center of her life and actions.

As the family joined in the remembrance of Joan, there was much laughter, interspersed with a little sadness. We chuckled at events when her children were younger, but also saddened as we discussed her aging.  Perhaps the greatest detriment to aging is losing our independence, as growing older so often takes that from each of us. Thus, it was when Joan realized she no longer had the faculties and acuity to continue driving.

I had last visited her to celebrate her eighty-ninth birthday. During that time, she and I went out driving. No, it was not like “Driving Miss Daisy” that she was being chauffeured, but that she was doing the driving. It was important she realized she needed to relinquish her driver’s license and not that it was taken from her. Even though she desired to overlook her miscalculations, she understood it was time for her to become “Miss Daisy.”

I still cry as I think about her for she was one of the most kind and loving persons, I’ve ever known. She lived her life well and isn’t that the most important asset any of us can possess? Ephesians 4:32 NKJ, “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

Do What?

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Can I really do this? Jesus is and was perfect. Can I really learn to love as He did? Those of us in one of the ministries at Stonebriar Community Church, pastor Chuck Swindoll, were given the book, Love Walked Among Us, Learning to Love Like Jesus, by Paul Miller. Just reading the title made my heart flicker with the reality of all persons being more loving to others.

How often do to we begin our day praying to be a “light” to those we meet and before our day has barely begun there is a situation which causes us to think and perhaps say aloud, “how can you expect me to love like Jesus? Paul states, “it’s in the little moments with friends and family that most of us reveal our true selves…How do you love someone when you get no love in return-only withdrawal or ingratitude…the person of Jesus is a plumb line to which we may align our lives.”

We know that “loving like Jesus” is not always a physical love, but an emotional and caring love. Even if we feel our world is falling apart, we can reach out to others in such love. Of course we may not “feel like” loving others. Yet, if we do, how does it change our perspective of our own lives?

Smiling at people passing by,  allowing others to cut ahead of you in lines, allowing other drivers “in.” That can be a challenging act of love when they don’t even thank you or acknowledge that you allowed them to cut ahead of you.  How often have you been in line shopping when the person ahead of you was “short” by a few cents or dollars? You gladly handed them the balance they needed.

The way we love like Jesus is immeasurable. It’s not always in acts like those just listed, but it’s how we conduct ourselves in the midst of hurt or sorrow. Recently my sole surviving aunt passed away. In her nineties, she was truly a light for Jesus until her very last day.  She endured some pain in her last weeks of life, but I learned she never had an unkind word for anyone. She was loving and gracious until her last breath. She loved like Jesus.

Over the years, I’ve been blessed when I could sit with and pray with friends over lunch or a cup of coffee. Some of these were not even friends, but strangers. I shall never forget volunteering at a local benevolence center in Oklahoma when one of the patrons needed not only food assistance, but also “Jesus love.” She needed support and prayers. I could give that and she cried as she thanked me. I cried too for it is truly a gift when we can give to others, that which costs us nothing, but our love and time.

Opportunities are plentiful. Often my prayer is that God will place someone in my path that day, which needs “His love.” Paul sums up Jesus love in this way, “ His name is recognized the world over. Christians claim to follow Him. Muslims honor him as a prophet. And many Jewish rabbis regard him as a great teacher…Jesus was love personified walking among us.” John 13:34 NIV “ a new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

Just One?

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Recently while attending a women’s luncheon at my church, the speaker gave a devotion on the wagon of rocks by Janet Keisel. Janet shared with her readers how we all live in busy and hectic worlds pulled in many directions knowing that each of us have to decide which things take priorities in our lives.

As our speaker shared the devotion, “the story is told of a man who met God one day. God asked him to take a wagon with a rock to the top of the mountain. God gave the man specific instructions, sketching a map in the dust. The man cheerfully set off pulling  the wagon behind him.”

 The man met others along the way, asking the man to also carry their rocks in his wagon. When the man reached his destination, he was discouraged and worn out from the heavy load with all the other rocks. He told God it was too much for him to bear. God reminded him, he had given him a wagon with one rock and a specific task.

Yet, how often do we “take on” other responsibilities. Years ago, I recalled so vividly the pastor’s sermon on doing so much for our church and God, that we forsake our families and the role God gave us. Even though it was decades ago I heard this sermon, it has been  easy to “take on too much” forsaking the rock God called me to carry.  How often have you heard people say, “if you want a task done, ask a busy person, for they are the ones to do it.”

We feel we can’t say no, but we can indeed. God gave us a wagon to make our load easier, not to load it down with assorted and trivial things which merely “keep us busy.” So often we can see this in other’s lives, yet we have failed to remove the boulder from our eye to see that we too do this very thing. We may not like the task God gave us to do. We feel it is not as worthy as what He has given others.

Thus, we take on more and more obligations until we are so weighed down we can’t pull our wagons or even manage to walk up the hill. Our families are pleading with us to “stop” or “slow down”, but we feel we have something to prove. We have nothing to prove if it isn’t what God asked us to do. We have made ourselves grander than God. We have said we believe we know better than God.

These past twelve years of my life have been filled with life lessons, but perhaps the greatest has been in knowing that I can do nothing without God. He hasn’t always given me a wagon to make my load easier. He has sometimes asked me to carry the large rock alone and it was heavy. I panted and sweated as I carried the rock. Yet, God was always at my side if I needed assistance. NKJ Luke 16:10 “he who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much…”

Giving Is A Gift, But So Too Is Receiving

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Over 25 years ago I began a book entitled, The Gift of Giving and Gratitude. Life happened, and the book still lies in a file drawer, unpublished and incomplete. However, having attended countless writer’s groups, workshops and seminars, as well as being a member of local writing organizations, I’ve learned that we can reach an audience from blogs. Thus, the first day and the first page of what I trust will be a daily “read”  for years to come. Feel free to share your stories with us, the audience; the readers.  Do you have a special gift of giving to others? Did you receive a gift which is  is beyond measure? Was it a gift from one’s heart or merely one’s wallet or both. Because my life would not be possible without my faith, then my gifts of gratitude  are always based upon I Thess. 5:18: In every thing give thanks…..