Tag: family

We’re all a Piece of Kintsugi

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I was driving home from church today reflecting on the message, the worship service, my past week and the one ahead. I was scheduling my afternoon “in my mind” on the must-do’s, want -to-do’s and  those matters which could merely “wait a little longer.”

As I sat down to have a quick lunch before I began that list of tasks, I turned on one of my favorite British series on PBS (Broadcasting television network), Call The Midwife. If you are a fan of this series, then you already know it covers every aspect of human frailty and life.

I’ve never missed an episode of this program and during the course of several years of watching this series I’ve shed a few tears, but today the “tear well” was flowing. As my quiet little rescue dog watched in wonder as to what was occurring, my sobs were at times louder than the volume of the television. Suddenly my schedule changed from the planned tasks to gratefulness and reflection.

The writers of the episode today appear to have worked extended and laborious hours in bringing a gift to their viewers of a story line which covered almost every human emotion. We felt the fear of the naïve young fourteen year-old mother whom had been shunned by her mother and was fearful of the outcome of giving birth to a child whom she could not keep as her own.

We witnessed a bride-to-me blessed with a child before it was planned, having become a mother as a young teen years prior to her engagement.  Now with an imminent wedding, her young daughter learned she would not be an only child, but a new baby was added to the family. As the new baby would call the new father “Daddy”, the bride’s young daughter wanted also to be his daughter.

 We saw the disappointment and heartache of a young man with disabilities lovingly and carefully creating a beautiful hand-crafted gift for the bride and groom-to-be, only to be bullied and injured causing the gift to be shattered. However, the pottery became a piece of Kintsugi, the Japanese art that repairs broken pottery with gold.

There was the postulate whom had lost connections with her biological family because she had chosen to give her life to the church and God. There were more tears when days before the postulate was to become a nun, her biological sister arrived to be with her, a gift from their father as he couldn’t be there to see his daughter take her vows as a nun.

Wow! I felt as though I had been racing a marathon with the emotions of this single episode in less than sixty minutes. In typical Call The Midwife style compassionate words were spoken toward the end of the story, even though there had been countless poignant sentiments throughout the viewing.

As one of the midwives prepared the newborn to be presented to his adoptive parents, a social worker stood at her side reminding her this was a difficult time, but also “sometimes the only way we survive the pain is to remember the lives we call our own, the joy of them, the hope of them-a simple possession of hours, days and years which are no one else’s.”

 One of the other midwives reminded them that in giving this new baby to another mother, “sometimes we are made whole simply because another heart has started beating. We are torn, but we are mended.”

With each event which was portrayed in this episode today, I could say, God this is just like what you do in our lives-not a television program, but reality. God makes all things beautiful, no matter what occurs. Ecclesiastes 3:11 NKJ, “He has made everything beautiful in its time…”

Where They Once Stood

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They happen in numerous settings.  Some are lavish, others are unassuming. Some are traditional while others are “free spirited” and “artistic.” Some cost millions of dollars, others cost a few hundred dollars. But all achieve the same success. They bring together a husband and wife vowing to love the other for eternity; a marriage and wedding ceremony.

Weddings most often also bring a flood of tears and memories of yesteryear. They are one of the most cherished elements of any family, for we know a marriage is the beginning of a new union. Parents and grandparents realize this is where they once stood with hopes and dreams for their future. Now, the young bride and groom possess the same goals; to live a long, full and blessed life with the one they love.

I recently had the joy of celebrating such an event with one of my granddaughters. The wedding was beautiful and so unlike mine which had been on the very same date fifty-six years prior. My wedding was small and modest. I have heard our pastor’s wife’s words in my heart and mind countless times, “this is the fanciest wedding our church has ever had.”

Certainly this validates the phrase of being in the eye of the beholder. Our humble church was filled with approximately one hundred people; the most our church could accommodate. It was the era of cake and punch following the ceremony.  However, the church was so small, it had no fellowship hall. The local community center became that venue.

Because my groom and I paid for our entire wedding, my mother and I had sewed for months making all the dresses and other necessary accessories for weddings of the 1960’s. Now, as my beautiful granddaughter walked down the aisle with her groom, she was overjoyed with the dreams of the future awaiting them. I too shared those same aspirations on my wedding day.

It was a magnificent day for our family during our granddaughter’s wedding. My son’s toast to his daughter and the father/daughter dance left most of the guests with tear stained smiles. I had prayed earnestly that God would give me additional strength for the day.

As many Christian female speakers and authors have shared in their bible studies and testimonies, marital betrayal and unfaithfulness is one of the most sorrowful experiences in their lives. Certainly it was for me. As I had begged and pleaded with my then husband to save our marriage for the sake of our family, he shared only that he had not loved me for over forty years. He proclaimed his heart was with his mistress for she is the one he cared about.

As couples in our family sat hand in hand, sharing glances of love and commitment for their own marriages and now our granddaughter, I could only “cry out to God” in silence to give me the power to endure my grief. For it was moments like this that I had reminded my then husband that he and his mistress could not share.

I’m grateful that I could call upon God to give me the strength which only He could give. My heart is scarred with the grief of betrayal, but how I rejoiced in the  beauty of the day and the memories with the family. NKJ Psalms 29:11 The Lord will give strength to His people; The Lord will bless His people with peace.

Too Many Changes!

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What? Ninety-two degrees in February! Confusing and perplexing, this is one of the many world changes I have no interest in accepting.  Yet, we must, for we can’t change it! Even though Texas is warmer than many other states in our country, summer temperatures in winter are still most unusual. We can accept it with a smile or complain, but we all know complaining doesn’t change those things which we can’t alter.

Life is a series of changes, but how often I reflect on those changes which we all anticipate, such as maturing and aging-we know this is inevitable. We understand our children will develop into teens and young adults, choosing and beginning their own lives. We know it is predictable, yet most of us are saddened by the occurrence. Why? We too experienced that foreseeable aspect of life. Cycles of our lives are much easier to accept than these unexpected and misunderstood patterns.

I think about the many changes in everyday life in the last few decades. I recall going to a “washateria”, now a laundromat, but in the 1950’s, it was a washateria with wringer style washing machines. Then we loaded the wet laundry in baskets and returned back home to hang it on the line. Oh the fragrance of sun-dried clothes! But what a convenience to toss clothes in the automatics washing machine with a dryer alongside it!

How many of us love the change of electric dishwashers? I recall as a toddler standing at the counter in our basement home, drying the dishes my mother had washed by hand. I was well into my twenties before I encountered the convenience of a dishwasher. I have often said, I would give up my dishwasher before I gave up my electric garage door opener.  I might have to rethink that statement when I had a sink full of dirty dishes and pans. So many changes, so many conveniences.

The list of changes is lengthy; some I would have preferred remained as they were. Cell phones are convenient at times, but how rewarding it was to hear a phone ring and pick it up to hear a kind voice on the other end desiring to “talk” to me, not merely text me or send me an e-mail.

How do we handle those unplanned and/or unforeseen changes? The loss of a job, unexpected moves to a new town or state or greater is the loss of a spouse or child, which can leave us devastated. We cry, we grieve, we pray and trust, but we must move forward.  Some may desire to remain mired in grief and sorrow. However, this deprives individuals of the new adventures awaiting them.

Many are astounded that I travel alone as much as I do. I travel alone, or not at all. There is much to see in this incredible world God created to not experience the beauty. I’ve also met people along the way which are now added to my mind’s memory book. Oh change! We can go with it or contest it, but it doesn’t prevent it from happening.  Isaiah 43:19 NIV, “see I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?…”