Do What?

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Can I really do this? Jesus is and was perfect. Can I really learn to love as He did? Those of us in one of the ministries at Stonebriar Community Church, pastor Chuck Swindoll, were given the book, Love Walked Among Us, Learning to Love Like Jesus, by Paul Miller. Just reading the title made my heart flicker with the reality of all persons being more loving to others.

How often do to we begin our day praying to be a “light” to those we meet and before our day has barely begun there is a situation which causes us to think and perhaps say aloud, “how can you expect me to love like Jesus? Paul states, “it’s in the little moments with friends and family that most of us reveal our true selves…How do you love someone when you get no love in return-only withdrawal or ingratitude…the person of Jesus is a plumb line to which we may align our lives.”

We know that “loving like Jesus” is not always a physical love, but an emotional and caring love. Even if we feel our world is falling apart, we can reach out to others in such love. Of course we may not “feel like” loving others. Yet, if we do, how does it change our perspective of our own lives?

Smiling at people passing by,  allowing others to cut ahead of you in lines, allowing other drivers “in.” That can be a challenging act of love when they don’t even thank you or acknowledge that you allowed them to cut ahead of you.  How often have you been in line shopping when the person ahead of you was “short” by a few cents or dollars? You gladly handed them the balance they needed.

The way we love like Jesus is immeasurable. It’s not always in acts like those just listed, but it’s how we conduct ourselves in the midst of hurt or sorrow. Recently my sole surviving aunt passed away. In her nineties, she was truly a light for Jesus until her very last day.  She endured some pain in her last weeks of life, but I learned she never had an unkind word for anyone. She was loving and gracious until her last breath. She loved like Jesus.

Over the years, I’ve been blessed when I could sit with and pray with friends over lunch or a cup of coffee. Some of these were not even friends, but strangers. I shall never forget volunteering at a local benevolence center in Oklahoma when one of the patrons needed not only food assistance, but also “Jesus love.” She needed support and prayers. I could give that and she cried as she thanked me. I cried too for it is truly a gift when we can give to others, that which costs us nothing, but our love and time.

Opportunities are plentiful. Often my prayer is that God will place someone in my path that day, which needs “His love.” Paul sums up Jesus love in this way, “ His name is recognized the world over. Christians claim to follow Him. Muslims honor him as a prophet. And many Jewish rabbis regard him as a great teacher…Jesus was love personified walking among us.” John 13:34 NIV “ a new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

Just One?

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Recently while attending a women’s luncheon at my church, the speaker gave a devotion on the wagon of rocks by Janet Keisel. Janet shared with her readers how we all live in busy and hectic worlds pulled in many directions knowing that each of us have to decide which things take priorities in our lives.

As our speaker shared the devotion, “the story is told of a man who met God one day. God asked him to take a wagon with a rock to the top of the mountain. God gave the man specific instructions, sketching a map in the dust. The man cheerfully set off pulling  the wagon behind him.”

 The man met others along the way, asking the man to also carry their rocks in his wagon. When the man reached his destination, he was discouraged and worn out from the heavy load with all the other rocks. He told God it was too much for him to bear. God reminded him, he had given him a wagon with one rock and a specific task.

Yet, how often do we “take on” other responsibilities. Years ago, I recalled so vividly the pastor’s sermon on doing so much for our church and God, that we forsake our families and the role God gave us. Even though it was decades ago I heard this sermon, it has been  easy to “take on too much” forsaking the rock God called me to carry.  How often have you heard people say, “if you want a task done, ask a busy person, for they are the ones to do it.”

We feel we can’t say no, but we can indeed. God gave us a wagon to make our load easier, not to load it down with assorted and trivial things which merely “keep us busy.” So often we can see this in other’s lives, yet we have failed to remove the boulder from our eye to see that we too do this very thing. We may not like the task God gave us to do. We feel it is not as worthy as what He has given others.

Thus, we take on more and more obligations until we are so weighed down we can’t pull our wagons or even manage to walk up the hill. Our families are pleading with us to “stop” or “slow down”, but we feel we have something to prove. We have nothing to prove if it isn’t what God asked us to do. We have made ourselves grander than God. We have said we believe we know better than God.

These past twelve years of my life have been filled with life lessons, but perhaps the greatest has been in knowing that I can do nothing without God. He hasn’t always given me a wagon to make my load easier. He has sometimes asked me to carry the large rock alone and it was heavy. I panted and sweated as I carried the rock. Yet, God was always at my side if I needed assistance. NKJ Luke 16:10 “he who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much…”

Is There Water in the Bottle?

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As I opened my Facebook today, a friend posted a borrowed quote from Anthony Hopkins, “Brutal.” The words spoke volumes to me, as I feel they probably would with each of you; reminders that we can’t make people love or accept us. We can’t change things which others do, but above all our actions are ours alone and must not be dictated by others.

I’m sharing a few of his comments as we enter a new year. As the pastor said Sunday, he doesn’t believe in New Year’s resolutions for too often they are broken by January 15th. He prefers to set goals. This is a wise choice as most of us can achieve goals, but it is more difficult to keep “a firm decision to do or not do something”, which is the definition of a resolution.

Each January 1st, I have hopes and dreams of things which might happen during the year ahead. However, because God controls my life, then He often has plans for me which I must “adjust and adapt.” As I reflected on Anthony’s list, I opted to use a few of them as goals for myself.

“Let go of people who are not ready to love you.” This was and remains one of the most difficult. For there are people I loved as deeply and intensely as I thought humanly possible, but the love was not returned and I had to learn to “move on” and to accept “what is.”

“Stop having difficult conversations with people who don’t want to change.” This statement was very attached to mine about love.  I so earnestly desired an understanding of why the person(s) didn’t love me. They didn’t desire to change, so the conversation for understanding was futile.

 Anthony also states, “It doesn’t mean you have to change who you are, it means you have to let go of people who aren’t ready to be with you.” I know each of us have people in our lives, in this category; some friends, others family.  Anthony continued, “the most valuable thing you have in your life is your time and energy, as both are limited. Make your life a safe haven, where only people “compatible” with you are allowed. Decision to distance yourself from toxic people, will give you the love, esteem, happiness and protection you deserve.”

As Christians, we desire to be people others yearn to be with in friendship and love. We are so often reminded that we can’t grant love to others if we aren’t filled with God’s love. Just as a bottle of water provides refreshing water, it is what is in the vessel which is then bestowed. If we are filled with anger and hatred, we cannot impart God’s love.

 As we enter into this new year, then perhaps this can be a goal of ours, to be what God desires us to be, so that others may aspire not only be with us, but to be like us. I Cor. 13: 4 NKJ, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up.”

Is This A Loss?

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Another Christmas is history. The gifts which you spent days and/or perhaps weeks searching for and the stress you felt in having the finances to purchase them have now been granted and opened. Hopefully, the recipients were as joyful to receive them as you were in presenting them.

The Christmas cards, perhaps not as plentiful as in years past have now been received and are either going to be discarded or saved in a scrapbook to be discarded at a later date. The Christmas meal which you spent hours planning, shopping for and preparing was a few leftovers you sent home with the guests or stored away for a later meal.  Fine china, crystal and silver have been washed, dried and packed away until the next special “once a year” event.

You might not have been invited to the party which you anticipated attending. The festive attire you had indulged in purchasing didn’t look as elegant on the night of the gala as it did when you were trying it on in the store. The anticipation of the gift(s) you had hoped for was never received.

But what if none of the above was a portion of your Christmas? What if, you were alone for the holiday? What if you didn’t attend even one party? What if you didn’t have even one gift to open? Was this still a holiday to remember? Yes, it was. Albeit, probably not one you wish to recall vividly, but even the most uneventful holidays can still hold warm memories. God granted you one more year, one more opportunity to experience this special day.

As a young bride and mother-to-be, one of my most memorable Christmases was while living with my then husband in Ft. Benning, Georgia. We were as poor that Christmas as we might have ever been. The officers were given “time off” for the holiday, but we were unable to travel home to be with family, as we didn’t have the finances to do so.

Many of the officers and their wives were taking a holiday trip to Atlanta. What an excitement for two young kids from Oklahoma. Yet, how far could we travel on two dollars? Yes, just two dollars. We didn’t have a credit card to “buy now and pay later.” We didn’t have parents to “float us a loan.” We were on our own with only the two dollars and big wishes.

 We drove to Atlanta, but no fancy meals, gift shopping or driving any further than the gas in our car would take us. We were hungry after consuming what few snacks we had packed in our car. Big times in the big city called for two big spenders to purchase two fifty cent burgers and to share one fry. That was it. Our money was gone. Does that mean this Christmas was a loss? No!

I knew that in approximately three months we would be with our new baby, beginning a new life.  That Christmas was one day out of hundreds of days for the remainder of my life. I counted my blessings and was grateful for what God had granted us. So then what is left of this holiday? Another year-another opportunity to spend with family and friends, but most of all we know, it is the eternal gift of the Savior’s love and sacrifice for each of us. Yet, how often is this lost in all the hustle and bustle of the holiday season? Isaiah 9:6 NKJ, “For unto us a child is born, Unto us a son is given…Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”

New Memories in a New Land

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As I sat in my hotel room, each morning I listened to the audio book while preparing for my day. As the author spoke of “letting go” of past hurtful memories and “clinging” to those happy ones, she also stated sometimes we must hold close those memories which encompass both the positive and negative. However, it is very important to make new memories so that we can move forward. New memories have become an integral part of my life. The author knew what it was to have her aspirations altered, necessitating an unexpected life design.

I have never met a person whose life was as they planned and/ or dreamed.  As youth and young adults we all envision our lives. I recall so vividly planning my life and family as a class project when I was in middle school, home economics class. We had to submit a sketch of our home, discuss our careers and  describe our “ideal” family.  The “plan”  was partially correct, but life took me on a much different journey than I had intended.

My “dream” family of that class assignment consisted of two children; a daughter and a son just as God blessed me with, but that was as far as those life blueprints succeeded. The home, career and family were nothing like my aspiration. I was not able to be the full-time “stay at home” wife and mother I had so greatly desired. We didn’t remain in the same house with the picket fence as in my class assignment, but we moved over twenty-two times in less than forty-four years. My desires for long-time friends were replaced with many acquaintances in the cities and neighborhoods where we briefly resided.

Now as I sat in my hotel room quietly listening to the words of the author, my new memories included people I had met from across the U.S. Each of us were experiencing another country with cultures, habits and lives different from our own. What a joy it was to have such an opportunity.

While rearing our children, because we didn’t travel, we hosted countless international guests from all over the world. Some stayed with us a few days, others for weeks at a time and some we hosted “as our family” for several years. We welcomed them around our table for holiday meals. They also attended church and community events with our family. Those times were treasured and cherished memories.

But now, I’m that international traveler. I’m not staying in their home, but am sharing their country and culture. What a blessing it has been to learn from others of  their travels and routines in their daily lives and residency.  

Thus, as the author noted, I am making new memories, while also recalling those precious times of the past.  Even though Deuteronomy speaks to the Israelites of God’s promises to them, it should also be a reminder to each of us, that wherever we are, we will be blessed. Deuteronomy 28:3 NIV, “you will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country.”

Delicate Leaves

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What a  beautiful gift. I had waited for weeks for its’ arrival. However, I knew hundreds of others were also awaiting this gift from God. Rain-rain!  Rain and falling leaves! Had fall finally arrived? Because the stores had begun their fall displays and sales shortly after our July 4th celebrations, would my display of pumpkins and fall decorations in September hasten its’ arrival?

If the store displays and my decorating wouldn’t accelerate fall’s appearance then certainly all the Pumpkin Spice “everything” must allow fall to show its’ colored foliage and cooler days.  No, the temperature was still warmer than normal for this time of year. For weeks I had gazed upon my sweaters, hoping I could wear even one for a day or two. Yet, the warm, humid days hung on, even though the calendar had commenced fall weeks ago.

Fall has always been my favorite season of the year. I despise the long, hot summer days, so I have eagerly anticipated fall. I love the beauty of spring, but also realize it is alerting us to summer which is arriving sooner than desired. Yet, with fall, I have the anticipation of a few cooler months.

Flannel jammies, fire places blazing, sweaters, warm mittens, cider and hot chocolate with marshmallows are some of my favorite “gifts” of the winter season, which can warm almost any cold heart. Although in Texas, most of the “winter” images must be replaced with short sleeved tops, light weight jackets and merely thoughts of “blazing fires.”  I can still savor a cup of hot cider or chocolate and reminisce of the days when the calendar appeared and felt more like the month it was displaying.

Joseph Rhea shares his thoughts on autumn. “ In Autumn, the creativity of God hollers. Look at these things! These paper-thin solar cells that convert sunlight into acorns! They’re everywhere, and they’re made by a God who…doesn’t know how to stop creating. Autumn reminds us that there’s a world of wonder. Spring and summer have their splendors. But autumn has a glory all its own. Autumn leaves are delicate, but their colors are so bright they almost shine. Summer’s wardrobe of green is great, but it has nothing on the end-of-life beauty of the fall.”

As I read Joseph’s words, I thought of our lives. Some of us are in the fall, knowing that soon will be the last season of our lives; winter.  Yet, until God calls  us home, there is beauty. We might truly be more fragile like the delicate leaves Joseph spoke of, but we can be a world of wonder. I’ve so often said “for as long as God allows,  I desire to be used for Him.”  I want His light to shine through my leaves. I want others to see my colors; the colors of God’s love.

If we have not allowed God to nourish us in the spring and summer seasons of our lives, as we arrive  in the more delicate and fragile season, our leaves won’t be bright. 2 Timothy 4:2 NIV, “preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke, and encourage-with great patience and careful instruction..”

Are You Real?

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Recently I blogged about the billboard stating, “real men love babies.” I realized I might not understand the motive if I didn’t research the billboard. It is sponsored by prolifeacrossamerica.org. The information stated this campaign focuses on a father’s role. It also noted, “it is for expecting fathers, including facts about pre-born baby’s development, such as heartbeat 18 days from conception.” The billboard photos are of several fathers and their babies.

This is an excellent campaign. However, we all understand fatherhood and parenthood for both mothers and fathers extends beyond infancy. There is nothing in the world like holding and gazing upon your newborn child, whether biological or adopted, parenthood is a gift.

There should also be a campaign for those fathers that choose a career above their family. What if a billboard showed a mother and children dining, attending school and/or sports events, taking the children to appointments-alone? The father was working late each night or traveling. He was too busy making money and climbing the ladder of success to be involved with his family. Perhaps such a campaign for parenting should also state, “real fathers place the desires of their family above their own.”

What if that campaign also displayed the heartache of the wife that was left alone to take care of the home and family responsibilities while the father was “living the high life?” What if the “real” story was that “real men love babies and God?”  For there is no way any man that truly loves God does not love his wife and family. Real men choose to allow God to be the leader of his life, family and home. Occasionally, this can be stated of the mother, but statistics cite that the majority of parents choosing career over their family is the father. 

Recently, I was conversing with a family member about the cost of choosing career over  family.  I was gratified to know a young person desired a family over “things.” Whereas, those individuals that choose a career appear to “have it all” to the world. Do they really?

I have known real men and they never chased their own dreams or goals. They were there when there was a family need. Whether it was their wife needing assistance around the house or their children needing a helping hand with a school or sports project, they were there.

As I’m currently studying Titus 2, it is a reminder of how “real men and women” live their lives. NIV Titus 2: 1-3“ You however, must teach what is appropriate to sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live…not to be slanderers…,but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children…so that no one will malign the word of God.

Do we choose to be “real” to God or to the world?

Real Men?

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I was relishing in the cooler temperatures of the day, 90’s instead of 100+. I have learned this summer that “cooler temperatures are all relative when you have days of extreme heat. Nonetheless, the car air conditioner was not on “full blast” and I was feeling blessed. I had an errand to run in a small, rural Texas town. I didn’t mind the journey as I drove past cattle and horse ranches with the wide open horizons.

In the middle of no where was a billboard with a thirty something man holding a baby. The sign read, “real men love babies.” Because I was driving I was unable to read the fine print and wondered why such a billboard would be there if the driver couldn’t read the sign in its entirety. But then! It dawned on me! They wanted the drivers to ponder and reflect, just as I was now doing.

What is a real man versus any other man? What is a real woman for that matter? Don’t most men and women love babies? Being out there in cowboy country was it some kind of message to the cowboys? I just didn’t know, but what I did know was that only yesterday I had traveled this very same pathway when a group of us Moms in Prayer joined our hearts, love and prayers for one of our members that is terminally ill. 

And then while traveling on this same roadway, I had been discussing with my travel buddy about women that choose not only to not love their children, but to discard them, either physically and/or emotionally.  We hadn’t seen that billboard for I know that too would have been part of our discussion.

I’ve spoken previously of “trigger points” and this billboard was certainly one of those moments. I recalled my first baby. I couldn’t have been more elated. I had dreamed of being a mother since I was a young girl. I was delighted with this beautiful new life and desired other family to be as joyful as I.  My father-in-law was happier as a grandfather than I believe I had ever seen him.

Yet, as I pondered the billboard, I reflected on my own father. Was he a real man? He didn’t want to hold my newborn daughter or even see her. At age 48, he said he was too young to be a grandparent. He and I were both the same age when we became parents, so he wasn’t too young. He had nothing to do with me, so this transference of no love was passed onto my children.

Now, I was deeply engrossed in the message of the billboard. According to the dictionary, real means, “actually existing; not imagined or supposed.” Okay, my father and other “indifferent” men toward their children or perhaps their wives were “real.” Yet, they just didn’t care. We know the world equates “real” with genuine; authentic.

Whatever the message of the billboard, I want to be a person that is “real” for the Lord. I want the bold type and fine print of my life to be understood. I Peter 1:7 NIV “These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith-of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.”

You Are Too Old!

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Several years ago, I lost my beloved “fur baby”  after becoming ill and passing away quickly.  Even though I have an extremely busy schedule, it doesn’t negate the loneliness of not having a person or pet to interact with on a daily basis. Approximately a year ago, I decided it was time to rescue a pet that needed a loving, caring home. I determined a toy breed would be easier to travel with.

I applied to numerous pet rescue organizations. Each time I was informed, “no, you are too old.” Too old? I’ve had countless physicians inform me my biological age doesn’t match my activity, physical ability and vitality. Yet, now I’m being informed I am “too old” to give a pet in need, a good home.

Per a study at the University of Michigan, “ Senior pet owners said their pets help them enjoy life, make them feel loved, reduce stress, provide a sense of purpose… Respondents also reported their pets connect them with other people… Among those who lived alone and/or reported fair or poor physical health, 72% said pets help them cope with physical or emotional symptoms.”

I have been seeking a pet on petfinders.com and was ecstatic when I was informed I had been accepted to adopt a little dog. The cost, date and time were set for me to meet him and bring him home. I was scurrying around like a young, expectant mother, cleaning and laundering pet beds, car seats, crates, etc. I was excited, I would now have a “little someone” to interact with.

I arrived at the designated “meet/greet” locale a few minutes early. I stood in astonishment as three women were walking away with the pet which had been promised to me.  I introduced myself to the rescue representative and queried why she had promised him to me, but was now giving him to someone else. She was extremely cavalier in her answers, which were also causing me some concern.

After a sixty plus mile round trip commute, I arrived home empty handed, but also knew that God is always in the details of events in our lives, including pets. I immediately began researching the rescue organization. To my dismay, I discovered it is a scam organization run by a puppy mill. God’s protection was with me.

As I have reflected on the discrimination of seniors adopting pets, I have realized these are people operating according to their rules, not God’s. Only God knows how long anyone will live. As someone mentioned to me recently when I was sharing my pet saga, she had a friend that recently died and was only twenty years old. Any of us can pass away today or tomorrow, no matter our age. 

How grateful I am that God does not discriminate in giving His gift of eternal life. What if He said, “you are too old or too young?” Just as God has so freely and willingly given me my gift of eternal life, I know that if He feels I need a pet, He will provide one for me.  Romans 2:11 NIV, “For God does not show favoritism.”

How Do You Survive The Heat?

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I loathe it! There is absolutely nothing I like about it!  Yes, it’s the hot days of summer. I’ve never been a summer fan. I  prefer cool or even cold weather, as I can bundle up and be cozy, but with the heat, it suffocates me. In Texas no matter how early your arise or how late you go outdoors, in the summer it’s hot!- Very, very hot!

Last year I spent thousands of dollars for a landscaper to add shrubs and lawn which this home lacked. Daily I’ve been fighting to keep the flora alive. The flowers don’t bloom. The shrubs look wilted, but I just want them to survive.  In the past fifteen months since the lawn and shrubs were planted, I lost many to the freezing temperatures last winter and now am losing more to the heat of this “fiery furnace” summer.  

Daily I drag my garden hose from place to place trying to give some additional nourishment to the plants which are struggling to survive; those plants which just can’t make it with the underground irrigation system alone. The heat which burns our skin, causes animals to dig deeper for food and water and destroys life if there is no protection from it, is the same heat I read of today.

 Reading in preparation for an upcoming discipleship course at my church, the words of Timothy S. Lane and Paul David Tripp spoke of heat. “Heat describes life and all that comes upon us in a fallen world. It represents a person’s current situation with all of its difficulties, temptations, and blessings. God knows the details of our lives and worlds and He sees how we respond in these situations.”

The authors continue to ask us, “what is your difficulty? …the letter of James…is a trial, an external situation (heat) that reveals the hearts intentions.” Although, I have never paralleled heat with the trials in my life I grasped what the authors were sharing, as I’ve witnessed the challenges of survival in these extreme conditions. Some humans suffer from heat strokes or exhaustion, while others just become extremely uncomfortable. Some flora dies while others “hang on”, parched and thristy.

How do we handle the heat (trials) in our lives? The pastor noted yesterday that during difficulties we may become angry or bitter, while others will be drawn closer to the Lord. Lane and Tripp stated, “nothing in the situation-the heat-makes you sin, or makes you loving and wise. You either choose to sin or choose for God in every circumstance.”

The heat (trials) in our lives will not be permanent. My daily thoughts are on the days I will experience cooler temperatures-when I can walk outdoors in the morning or evening and feel a cool breeze on my face. But for now-it is hot!  Will we wilt and perhaps die or will we survive these trials? As Christians, we can turn to God for coolness and refreshment. I Peter 5:10 NIV, “and the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make your strong.”