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I was relishing in the cooler temperatures of the day, 90’s instead of 100+. I have learned this summer that “cooler temperatures are all relative when you have days of extreme heat. Nonetheless, the car air conditioner was not on “full blast” and I was feeling blessed. I had an errand to run in a small, rural Texas town. I didn’t mind the journey as I drove past cattle and horse ranches with the wide open horizons.

In the middle of no where was a billboard with a thirty something man holding a baby. The sign read, “real men love babies.” Because I was driving I was unable to read the fine print and wondered why such a billboard would be there if the driver couldn’t read the sign in its entirety. But then! It dawned on me! They wanted the drivers to ponder and reflect, just as I was now doing.

What is a real man versus any other man? What is a real woman for that matter? Don’t most men and women love babies? Being out there in cowboy country was it some kind of message to the cowboys? I just didn’t know, but what I did know was that only yesterday I had traveled this very same pathway when a group of us Moms in Prayer joined our hearts, love and prayers for one of our members that is terminally ill. 

And then while traveling on this same roadway, I had been discussing with my travel buddy about women that choose not only to not love their children, but to discard them, either physically and/or emotionally.  We hadn’t seen that billboard for I know that too would have been part of our discussion.

I’ve spoken previously of “trigger points” and this billboard was certainly one of those moments. I recalled my first baby. I couldn’t have been more elated. I had dreamed of being a mother since I was a young girl. I was delighted with this beautiful new life and desired other family to be as joyful as I.  My father-in-law was happier as a grandfather than I believe I had ever seen him.

Yet, as I pondered the billboard, I reflected on my own father. Was he a real man? He didn’t want to hold my newborn daughter or even see her. At age 48, he said he was too young to be a grandparent. He and I were both the same age when we became parents, so he wasn’t too young. He had nothing to do with me, so this transference of no love was passed onto my children.

Now, I was deeply engrossed in the message of the billboard. According to the dictionary, real means, “actually existing; not imagined or supposed.” Okay, my father and other “indifferent” men toward their children or perhaps their wives were “real.” Yet, they just didn’t care. We know the world equates “real” with genuine; authentic.

Whatever the message of the billboard, I want to be a person that is “real” for the Lord. I want the bold type and fine print of my life to be understood. I Peter 1:7 NIV “These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith-of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.”

Several years ago, I lost my beloved “fur baby”  after becoming ill and passing away quickly.  Even though I have an extremely busy schedule, it doesn’t negate the loneliness of not having a person or pet to interact with on a daily basis. Approximately a year ago, I decided it was time to rescue a pet that needed a loving, caring home. I determined a toy breed would be easier to travel with.

I applied to numerous pet rescue organizations. Each time I was informed, “no, you are too old.” Too old? I’ve had countless physicians inform me my biological age doesn’t match my activity, physical ability and vitality. Yet, now I’m being informed I am “too old” to give a pet in need, a good home.

Per a study at the University of Michigan, “ Senior pet owners said their pets help them enjoy life, make them feel loved, reduce stress, provide a sense of purpose… Respondents also reported their pets connect them with other people… Among those who lived alone and/or reported fair or poor physical health, 72% said pets help them cope with physical or emotional symptoms.”

I have been seeking a pet on petfinders.com and was ecstatic when I was informed I had been accepted to adopt a little dog. The cost, date and time were set for me to meet him and bring him home. I was scurrying around like a young, expectant mother, cleaning and laundering pet beds, car seats, crates, etc. I was excited, I would now have a “little someone” to interact with.

I arrived at the designated “meet/greet” locale a few minutes early. I stood in astonishment as three women were walking away with the pet which had been promised to me.  I introduced myself to the rescue representative and queried why she had promised him to me, but was now giving him to someone else. She was extremely cavalier in her answers, which were also causing me some concern.

After a sixty plus mile round trip commute, I arrived home empty handed, but also knew that God is always in the details of events in our lives, including pets. I immediately began researching the rescue organization. To my dismay, I discovered it is a scam organization run by a puppy mill. God’s protection was with me.

As I have reflected on the discrimination of seniors adopting pets, I have realized these are people operating according to their rules, not God’s. Only God knows how long anyone will live. As someone mentioned to me recently when I was sharing my pet saga, she had a friend that recently died and was only twenty years old. Any of us can pass away today or tomorrow, no matter our age. 

How grateful I am that God does not discriminate in giving His gift of eternal life. What if He said, “you are too old or too young?” Just as God has so freely and willingly given me my gift of eternal life, I know that if He feels I need a pet, He will provide one for me.  Romans 2:11 NIV, “For God does not show favoritism.”

I loathe it! There is absolutely nothing I like about it!  Yes, it’s the hot days of summer. I’ve never been a summer fan. I  prefer cool or even cold weather, as I can bundle up and be cozy, but with the heat, it suffocates me. In Texas no matter how early your arise or how late you go outdoors, in the summer it’s hot!- Very, very hot!

Last year I spent thousands of dollars for a landscaper to add shrubs and lawn which this home lacked. Daily I’ve been fighting to keep the flora alive. The flowers don’t bloom. The shrubs look wilted, but I just want them to survive.  In the past fifteen months since the lawn and shrubs were planted, I lost many to the freezing temperatures last winter and now am losing more to the heat of this “fiery furnace” summer.  

Daily I drag my garden hose from place to place trying to give some additional nourishment to the plants which are struggling to survive; those plants which just can’t make it with the underground irrigation system alone. The heat which burns our skin, causes animals to dig deeper for food and water and destroys life if there is no protection from it, is the same heat I read of today.

 Reading in preparation for an upcoming discipleship course at my church, the words of Timothy S. Lane and Paul David Tripp spoke of heat. “Heat describes life and all that comes upon us in a fallen world. It represents a person’s current situation with all of its difficulties, temptations, and blessings. God knows the details of our lives and worlds and He sees how we respond in these situations.”

The authors continue to ask us, “what is your difficulty? …the letter of James…is a trial, an external situation (heat) that reveals the hearts intentions.” Although, I have never paralleled heat with the trials in my life I grasped what the authors were sharing, as I’ve witnessed the challenges of survival in these extreme conditions. Some humans suffer from heat strokes or exhaustion, while others just become extremely uncomfortable. Some flora dies while others “hang on”, parched and thristy.

How do we handle the heat (trials) in our lives? The pastor noted yesterday that during difficulties we may become angry or bitter, while others will be drawn closer to the Lord. Lane and Tripp stated, “nothing in the situation-the heat-makes you sin, or makes you loving and wise. You either choose to sin or choose for God in every circumstance.”

The heat (trials) in our lives will not be permanent. My daily thoughts are on the days I will experience cooler temperatures-when I can walk outdoors in the morning or evening and feel a cool breeze on my face. But for now-it is hot!  Will we wilt and perhaps die or will we survive these trials? As Christians, we can turn to God for coolness and refreshment. I Peter 5:10 NIV, “and the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make your strong.”

I had thrashed about, trying to sleep. Just moments before I turned out the lights and headed to bed, a huge boulder had been thrown on my emotional path; “triggers” as counselors call them. For eleven years I have struggled so greatly with understanding the “why” of my life. Here it was again.

It was early Sunday morning when I fell asleep, so I awakened later than my normal routine.  It was raining and extremely tempting to remain home. However, I might “wallow” in the queries of my life. I grabbed my coffee and began preparing to attend the later church service, realizing what I needed more than being home alone was joining other believers in praise and worship.

The church service included a day to dedicate babies and children to the Lord, the pastor’s sermon was on the influence we have in the lives of all children, our own and those we come in contact with.  Pastor T. was like a history book naming countless Godly individuals that had touched his life and the lives of his own children.

 Because the pastor loves humor in his sermons, there were moments of laughter among the congregation, but also the reality of the sermon text, 2 Timothy 1: 5. Two women were a tremendous influence to Timothy, his grandmother and mother. As a result of Godly women that were Timothy’s mentors, he spent his adult life serving the Lord.

The pastor noted often there is only one parent that is following God, striving to lead their children and home in the work of the Lord. What a blessing it is when there are Godly family and friends that reiterate these principles. In many homes, the parent choosing not to walk with God attempts to destroy all efforts of the parent instilling Godly values. Those are the times you hope  other people are influences in your children’s lives.

My family of origin moved frequently. Thus, I earnestly desired “deep roots” and stability. However, having been married to someone that chose “money and prestige” as his primary life goal, we moved often. Frequent moves prevent the opportunity to develop deep and long-lasting relationships. Nonetheless, there were persons in our lives which imprinted me or my children; few of them were Christians, but the memories loving.

One of those persons, a Sunday School teacher when I was a young teen. She realized the abuse I endured in my home and sought ways to give me a short reprieve. She would telephone asking if I would like to go to the local drive in for a “coke.” She never spoke of my homelife, but years later I realized she knew I needed a friend.

The other person that brought a lasting memory was a neighbor when I was an older teen. She saw the “aftermath” of my father’s severe abuse and attempted to intervene. Because it was the 1960’s, there were no resources to assist battered children. Yet these two ladies, one a Christian, the other not, left a permanent impression on my heart and in my life.

What a difference we could make if we left a positive imprint on the lives of those we meet; family, neighbors or friends. Matthew 5:16 NIV,  In the same way, let your light shine before others that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. “

I had carefully nurtured and attended to the baskets of petunias suspended from the railing on my balcony. I was captivated by how rapidly they were thriving, sharing their long tendrils with a bounty of color. I watered them plentifully before my six day trip out of state. While visiting the upper Midwest of our beautiful county, I was unaware that my current residence in the southwest United States had begun hitting triple digit heat as summer had not yet arrived.

Upon returning home after my short trip, as I walked from my garage into my house, my spirits sank. The beauty of the floral baskets now was dry and limp. I almost wept when I believed all the splendor of their trailing blossoms had died. I opted to water them , with the hope they might have some life in their roots. Literally within minutes the stems were green and sturdy.

As I was sharing the tale of the “dead returning to life” a friend informed me she had two containers of petunias which she cast aside without water for several months. During a home renovation the vessels had been “tossed” and forgotten about. When she returned them to their original place of prominence in her yard and as she watered them, like my plants, they came “alive” with color and beauty. Over the years, I’ve had dozens of flora which have been left without water due to my absence and most didn’t survive. Their brown, brittle stems and blooms never returned to life even with much care.

I thought about petunias and orchids similar to fellow Christians.  Botanists note orchids are some of the most fragile flowers. I’ve known Christians that were like orchids. They shriveled up and became despondent over the slightest negative event in their life. They were unable to accept and adapt to the trials God was placing them through.

 Yet others were akin to  petunias. They might have been depleted of what they deemed God’s nourishment. However, they were “hanging on”. They knew God would be returning with the refreshing water they needed to become vibrant once again. Even when they appeared wilted, they were providing God’s love.

Each of us are unique individuals and we handle disappointment, discouragement and trauma in different ways. Some are “sturdy stock” petunias, while others are fragile orchids. What causes us to be sturdy or fragile? Growth in the Lord. If our roots are deep and secure in His word, we can withstand changes in our environment. If we are more shallow and not rooted in Him, changes may cause us to cease providing God’s beauty and kindness.

Recently during bible study there was a discussion about persons that call themselves Christians, yet show no proof of God’s love in their lives.   I Corinthians is filled with traits we should possess as Christians. We should all strive to be petunias from the characteristics of love.  I Cor. 13: 4-7 NIV, “ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy…it is not easily angered. It keeps no records of wrongs…it always protects, always trusts…always perseveres.

So much stitchin’ and rippin’, but does practice make perfect? Yes, it did and still does. I heard the announcement over the school intercom that anyone interested in becoming a 4-H member needed to attend a meeting after school. I realized “missing the bus” necessitated walking home from school with my younger brother and sister “in tow”, but what was 4-H?

I learned it stood for pledging my head to clearer thinking, my heart to greater loyalty, my hands to larger service and my health to better living. Excitedly I shared this new found information with my parents, whom quickly informed me the only way I could participate was to take my brother 4 years younger and my sister five years younger with me weekly to meet at my 4-H leader’s home. Being reared in a poor home, opportunities for social interaction were limited. I was eager to learn about this new adventure.

For several years, I gathered my sewing supplies along with my siblings, their school bags and snacks and we began our journey of walking the two miles from our home to Mrs. Carmelita Butts house; a warm and caring woman that had the patience of Job from the old testament. She graciously opened her modest home to us, while caring for her only child, a daughter with a disability.

 We walked through neighborhoods and over railroad tracks during seasons of warmth, cold, sunshine and rain. (To verify this mileage, as an adult I returned to that home and neighborhood to calculate the route). Yes, the two miles remained as much decades later as it did over sixty years ago.

Because I was unable to participate in school activities and events due to the lack of financial resources, this opportunity to learn a new skill was a treasure. My initial creation was a skirt and I rapidly advanced to dresses and evening gowns, acquiring the expertise of perfection.  Each spring there was a “dress revue” for all the 4-H students in each county to display their creations. The judges carefully inspected every seam, button, zipper and stitching, while the garment was worn both inside and right side out. The philosophy of 4-H sewing was that the garment had to look as perfect on the wrong side as on the right side.

The winners advanced to the state level where the judging continued. My countless hours under Mrs. Carmelita’s careful eye and leadership provided me with a blue ribbon for every garment I created. By the time I entered 4-H in high school, I had perfected, French seams, bound buttonholes, covered buttons and a plethora of stitches by hand. However, what it truly did for me was provide life-long design with fabric.

Now as I stood alongside these precious young 4-H members at a recent quilt camp, my heart was aflutter with memories of my time so many years ago at a borrowed sewing machine. My skill from that day provided me the privilege of becoming a paid seamstress at the age of fourteen. I would create wedding gowns, prom dresses and garments for decades sewn with great joy and love. Such gifts in life are truly cherished treasures from God. I Peter 4:10 NIV, “each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others…”

1:00 a.m. and I was wide awake after only a couple hours of sleep. I prayed as I tossed and turned, knowing I must be up early for the first day of bible study. As I watched the hours tick by, I was tempted to just turn off the alarm and think, “I will go to bible study in a couple weeks. However, knowing the summer studies are shorter and I would not be there the following week, I was determined no matter how tired I was, I would be there.

As I have shared in my previous blogs, finding a new church where I would have fellowship and connections was paramount in locating the one God had for me. With the previous invitations for fellowship, I felt I was where God intended. As I walked into the bible study, would this be one more confirmation I was in “the place” God desired; the church where I could worship and serve?

Within minutes of arrival, my heart was blessed. The ladies were warm and welcoming and the small group leader and I share similar life’s experiences. During our conversation on the lesson of “I Am”, my heart was filled with gratitude. It’s been quite some time that I left a bible study feeling not only enriched, but grateful for the life I have.

Even when trials and burdens seem insurmountable, as Christians we are always reminded, God sees, hears and knows. One of my favorite verses of “give thanks always” is sometimes difficult, but one which my heart knows is true. This day of study, reflection and sharing was a reminder that we truly can be grateful even when circumstances are difficult.

I’ve walked past my piano and harps for months, unable to sit and play due to all that was happening in my life. Not only did I feel I didn’t have the time to give to just “sitting”, but my heart was so heavy with “life” that I felt I didn’t have the energy to be creative.

This day was different. As I sat at the piano, the notes rippled beneath my fingers. I could have sat there for the remainder of the day and into the night. I had a commitment and couldn’t linger. We cannot have these moments like this every day of our life but what a joy and  blessing it is, when God brings these days because they are truly gifts from Him.

As one of the ladies in the bible study noted, she sometimes just leans back and says “God I’m ready for you to call me home.” She said her granddaughter will say oh Grandma don’t say that because I want to get married and I want to have children. We all have earthly goals and desires. Yet when we have these days of joy in the Lord, isn’t it a blessing to know how wonderful it is going to be when we are with Him? Nehemiah8:10 NKJ, “…Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

“A father said to his daughter “You have graduated with honors, here is a car I bought many years ago, but before I give it to you, take it to the used car lot and tell them, I want to sell it and see how much they offer you.” The daughter went to the car lot, returned to her father and said, “They offered me $1,000 because they said it looks pretty worn out.”

The father said, now “Take it to the pawn shop.” The daughter returned to her father and said, “the pawn shop offered only $100 because it is an old car.” The father asked his daughter to go to a car club and show them the car. The daughter then took the car to the club, returned and told her father,  “Some people in the club offered $100,000 for it because it’s a Nissan Skyline R34, an iconic car and sought by many collectors.”

The father said this to his daughter, “If you are not valued, do not be angry, it means you are in the wrong place. Those who know your value are those who appreciate you. Never stay in a place where no one sees your value.” Edited and borrowed from a posting on Facebook in 2020.

How often do we stay; hoping and trusting that “in time” that company will ultimately see our signifiance to them or perhaps a person or person(s) will value us? Then we learn, the company doesn’t appreciate the skills you have for the job you are doing. Perhaps that friend or even family member left you  emotionally years ago, for you weren’t what they desired.

As I’ve been viewing a televised series on friendships and relationships, I’ve been reminded of the complexity of such relationships in life. One of the characters experienced having her company not deem her worthy to remain on their staff. Romantic relationships were lost due to a lack of acceptance of her as a person. Perhaps one of the saddest life lessons was watching a friendship of over three decades fractured due to human egos and pride.

Tearfully, one of the characters reminded her friend they had given all those years to a friendship that now was going to be destroyed due to one brief moment. Just as with selling the car to the buyer that appreciated and esteemed the merit of its’ worth, we sometimes have friends and family that choose anger and pride over the importance of what the relationship provides.

 As the father told his daughter “ do not be angry. You are in the wrong place.” How devastating it is when you desire to remain because you believe you are in the right place, but you must accept the company or person desires someone or something else.

What a joy and gift it is when we are finally provided the opportunity of being in the right place. Sometimes it takes years, but during that time, God may be preparing us for when we understand our value is elsewhere.  Job 6:14 NIV, “Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty.”

It may have been the best bowl of stew I’ve ever eaten, but what caused the flavor to be even better was the ambiance and local conversation. Perhaps the crisp, cool day and light rainy mist enhanced the flavor and experience. Whatever the reason,  dining in that small, southern, country café still causes my heart to stir with a tremendous love.

When visiting the Midwest, reading the story of what we had just experienced with the Bridges of Madison County allowed my then husband and I to extend this event for several hundred additional miles. If I didn’t have bags full of audio books from our local library, then I was delighted to read aloud from printed pages.  More than once our “drive way moments” were halted at our garage or continued as we walked inside our home.

The recollection of the taste of warm cider donuts and a cup of hot cider while traveling the rolling and colorful, tree- filled, hills of our northeast still brings a smile to my face. The smells and visions while traveling along the costal highways of both the Pacific and Atlantic linger in my heart and mind.

I love Europe with it’s vast array of history which our magnificent country can’t boast. However, I’m deeply saddened when I hear fellow travelers say they really haven’t gone too far beyond their own state’s borders. When well-traveled Americans know very little of our own country, but tout visiting other countries multiple times, I feel they have deprived themselves of an incredible gift-our USA.

Years ago, it became my goal and desire to visit all fifty states. God has allowed me to visit forty-eight of our fifty. I did “drive by” a small corner of Oregon, but desire to go there and spend some time to experience its’ beauty. Hawaii, remains my final state and then I will have visited them all.

When my then husband and I  became empty nesters, my desire to become our own private travel planner and tour guide accelerated. My opinion was we hadn’t truly visited a state unless we were there for at least a couple of days. Just driving by on the highway didn’t give us an opportunity to learn about it’s culture, its’ people or its’ uniqueness.

All states have gorgeous trees, streams and lakes. Yes, even memorable local diners. But every state also possesses its’ own “language” and vibrant stories of its’ history. From the glistening, golden aspens in Colorado to the splendor of God’s creation in the Grand Canyon or other National Parks, this land is truly “our land.”

The older I’ve become, the more careers I wish I could have experienced. Certainly being a “professional traveler” is at the top of my list. I miss those road trips across our vast expanse of varied landscape. The car was loaded with not only our necessities, but audio books, snacks and the desire to “behold” what God had created.

It was a gift! As the old 50’s commercial used to tout, “see the USA in your Chevrolet” or I might say, “see the USA any old way,” but enjoy what awaits you. Psalm 104:24 NKV, “O Lord, how manifold are Your works! In wisdom you made them all. The earth is full of your possessions.

For most women, babies; these adorable and helpless bundles of joy are irresistible to hold and cuddle. A baby’s smile and giggles can change even a bad day into one filled with cheerfulness. Their innocence begs us to embrace them.

The helplessness of a baby causes most of us to offer our love. Why do people stop on the roadside when there is an abandoned kitten or puppy? It is human nature to care for and nurture those that can’t help themselves. So it was when I recently walked into the corner of my bathroom and found a tiny green anole. I had never seen such a tiny creature other than a bug. I could tell this little being was alive, but how in the world did “she” get in my house? There was not a door or window close and where was her mommy?

I carefully picked the tiny creature up to take her outdoors, hoping she would survive.  Surely living on a bare tile floor in a bathroom, she didn’t have a chance of survival. So why did I assume this little being was a girl? If your name is Lizzie, then aren’t you female? My first encounter with Lizzies was in the 1990’s when I was quite frightened of these creatures that were prevalent in Florida and south TX, until I realized they are not to be feared. From that day forward, all these lizards were “Lizzies.”

When I discovered tiny Lizzie several weeks ago, I was most concerned about her being away from her mother. My disquiet became more escalated when I learned anole mothers give birth and then leave their young to survive on their own. Anole mothers are not unlike some of the others in the animal kingdom. Even though God’s plan, it is disturbing to know these helpless creations must fend for themselves.

For most human females, being a mother is innate. When we become a mother, we remain mothers until the day we die. The elation of seeing and holding your baby is unlike any emotion we will ever experience. Whether biological or adoptive, our children are gifts which remain forever. No matter the circumstances of where our children are or what they do, they are our children and we love and support them for the duration of their lives and ours.

As we watch our children grow and mature into parents themselves, we still have memories of the time they were helpless and needed us to survive. Sometimes it is difficult for parents and especially mothers to “let them go” to become the individual God intended them to be. However, we know that is not only the cycle of life, but God’s divine plan for us.

What a pleasure it is to know that whether a human baby or one of the animal kingdom God bestowed us with a devotion to nurture a helpless being. On this Mother’s Day, it is with gratitude I thank God for allowing me to be a mother and grandmother. There is no greater blessing. Psalm 127:3 NKJ “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord…”