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We Rise!

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As I read an email last week I thought of the recent tragedy in Texas and the hundreds of warriors that survived and also those that were there to provide aid and assistance to those in need. Even though Maurrie spoke of women, this applies to men and women of all demographics.

Strong women aren’t forged in comfort. Challenging storms shape us, weather us, and try to beat us down. We face an empty nest, health scares, roads traveled alone, and friends and loved ones lost too soon. We rise! We say, “Let’s go”, “ Let’s do this,” or “Don’t worry, I’ve got you”! Here’s to our warrior women- Maurrie Sussman, Sisters on the Fly.

The above is written about many women of all ages and walks of life, but as  Christian men and women how are you seen? How do storms of life shape you? There are more ways we can be shaped than ink, paper or time to list them. Some are physical, others emotional and often both physical and emotional.  Can God say “these are my warriors?”

As mothers, fathers, wives, husbands and/or employees we put on our “warrior hats” daily as we struggle to not only “do it all”, but give it “our all.  When we end our day whether it be away from home and returning home or spending the day at home, there seems to be very little time to just relax, refresh and enjoy the moments of that day. Sometimes we’re so weary we wondered how we could continue. Yet, we said to ourselves, “let’s go-let’s do this.”

As we age and retire we have more time to do some things, but our strength is not as abundant as it once was. We may be a little slower and it takes us a little longer, but if we are “warriors”, we keep on “keeping on.”

During my career, I encountered numerous individuals stricken early in life and not able to be “warriors.” They were ill and/or physically impaired and spent their days and years quietly watching the world pass by them. We all know people that have endured incredible challenges, but they continue to  “rise up.” They didn’t permit trials to halt their goals.

Some of us are currently standing in the midst  of a storm. We aren’t certain how long it will endure or how intense it will become, but we do have the knowledge that in time it will end. God will lead us out of the storm. As we view interviews and news video of survivors from natural disasters, we realize the strength God gives those individuals to survive, “to be warriors.”

I’m sure each of us desire to be seen as warriors with words such as these which were quoted about a recent victim of a natural disaster, “what I’ll take most from you is your positive attitude, servant heart, and ability to remain faithful in the toughest of times.”

Incomprehensible situations are never what we desire, but we always know God’s will and way is the best and there truly will be “sunny days” someday. ESV Ephesians 6:10 “Finally be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.”

Why The Ruts?

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As I was recently driving on one of our city’s main thoroughfares, I was perplexed as to why there would be such large ruts along the grassy shoulder which abutted a neighborhood.  I also observed large muddy tire tracks and realized someone had swerved onto the easement.

Was it drunkenness, distraction or merely not paying attention? Then I saw the small, lifeless body and surmised the cause for this event. There was one of God’s creations lying in the street; a squirrel.

I was saddened to see the lifeless creature, but I also understood someone had earnestly veered to avoid this result. How often have we swerved to miss hitting an animal or other obstacle in our path? How often have we had to take a detour to avoid peril to our vehicles or lives?

Sometimes those obstacles result in another being injured, but often these obstacles are for our own protection. In the case of this tiny squirrel, the effort didn’t bring the result the driver was hoping, but they attempted to keep it safe.

How often has God endeavored to keep us safe, but we bully ahead to “move” the obstacle, go around it or to perhaps just drive over it, because we think we know better than God what is best for us?

As I have shared in previous blogs, King David is one of my favorite men of the bible. Did he have obstacles to become king? He certainly did. Even though he started out as a young shepherd boy, he took a path which not only displeased God, but brought him sorrow along the way, because David thought “his way” was best.  Ultimately God’s plan was fulfilled when he became King.

As we read of Paul’s ministry and his journey to preach the gospel, it was not without obstacles and hardships along the way. As I listened to today’s sermon, the pastor spoke of obstacles we may endure when we choose God’s way over Satan’s way. God doesn’t promise a Christian’s life to be free of obstacles, but He does promise us He will remove them or allow us to navigate them.

Lisa Appelo states, “ we can trust that God is using the obstacle to orchestrate his perfect timing…to refine our character and purify our motives…to display his glory.” I’m reminded of this each time I read one of my favorite verses: Jer. 29:11 “for I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord…”

Yes, God does know His plans for us, but we have to be strong enough to allow Him to proceed with His plans, no matter how many obstacles are on our paths. Sometimes these obstacles are people or situations which can’t be removed, so we must understand how to cope with them.

We all have them, so do we drive around the obstacle, drive over it or merely stop and say “okay God, now what do you want me to do?”  Psalms 37:7 NIV-“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him…”

The Perfect Quilt

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Stunning, artistic colors and designs, impeccable cutting and pristine points-each a component of the beautiful and loving quilts made by the “men in gray.’ Yes, each are created by men, but not just any men. These men are incarcerated in the Missouri penal system.

I was literally in astonishment as I viewed this documentary. They are imprisoned for crimes from illegal drugs to murder, but they must possess spotless records as inmates. Yet, this penal system recognizes these men are people, they are individuals who made tragic mistakes in their lives; most as very young men. While some of these men are now well into their senior years, they have found a purpose in life. Some are large men with hands akin to those of lumberjacks, but so tenderly and lovingly create these works of art.

Each quilt is bestowed upon a child in the foster care system. When the men choose the colors and designs for their creations, I immediately thought of how my life has been planned and designed by God. Very few individuals in life can state they planned their lives as they are now living. Most all of us have plans, but then “life happens.” Tragedy, circumstances and/or other persons alter our lives. However, as I have shared previously, nothing happens to us as God’s children,  that He hasn’t already planned for us.

Unlike the inmates checking a list of children in the foster care system needing a quilt, God already knows us and our needs. He chooses whether the quilt of our lives will be bright and colorful or softer with pastel colors. Sometimes our lives are a quilt of many colors and hues.

The blocks will contain some squares like the foundation of our homes and lives;  more planned and structured. Other blocks will have pointed triangles which may represent situations in our lives which were prominent and altered. Some blocks are appliqued with beautiful embellishments, reminiscent of those events in our lives which filled us with exultation; marriages, births and countless celebrations.

Occasionally there are quilts which are made with rows of fabric, which are the same sizes and shapes, but those are not as interesting as the quilts with more shapes and designs. All are unique and not identical unless they were mass produced in a factory.

We are not mass produced. We are all God’s unique and individual creations; flawed yet so perfect to Him. The proud inmates held up their quilts for the camera, to be viewed by hundreds of individuals before they were presented to the grateful recipient.  We too are quilts on display. There are bright vivid colors and designs of the times of challenges and trials. There are the soft hues of when our life was gentle and more routine.

When God holds up His quilts what do others see? Is the quilt still pristine as God designed it or has it been stained, ripped or cut apart because we chose to “fight” God’s plan for our lives?  Proverbs 16:9 NIV “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”

We’re all a Piece of Kintsugi

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I was driving home from church today reflecting on the message, the worship service, my past week and the one ahead. I was scheduling my afternoon “in my mind” on the must-do’s, want -to-do’s and  those matters which could merely “wait a little longer.”

As I sat down to have a quick lunch before I began that list of tasks, I turned on one of my favorite British series on PBS (Broadcasting television network), Call The Midwife. If you are a fan of this series, then you already know it covers every aspect of human frailty and life.

I’ve never missed an episode of this program and during the course of several years of watching this series I’ve shed a few tears, but today the “tear well” was flowing. As my quiet little rescue dog watched in wonder as to what was occurring, my sobs were at times louder than the volume of the television. Suddenly my schedule changed from the planned tasks to gratefulness and reflection.

The writers of the episode today appear to have worked extended and laborious hours in bringing a gift to their viewers of a story line which covered almost every human emotion. We felt the fear of the naïve young fourteen year-old mother whom had been shunned by her mother and was fearful of the outcome of giving birth to a child whom she could not keep as her own.

We witnessed a bride-to-me blessed with a child before it was planned, having become a mother as a young teen years prior to her engagement.  Now with an imminent wedding, her young daughter learned she would not be an only child, but a new baby was added to the family. As the new baby would call the new father “Daddy”, the bride’s young daughter wanted also to be his daughter.

 We saw the disappointment and heartache of a young man with disabilities lovingly and carefully creating a beautiful hand-crafted gift for the bride and groom-to-be, only to be bullied and injured causing the gift to be shattered. However, the pottery became a piece of Kintsugi, the Japanese art that repairs broken pottery with gold.

There was the postulate whom had lost connections with her biological family because she had chosen to give her life to the church and God. There were more tears when days before the postulate was to become a nun, her biological sister arrived to be with her, a gift from their father as he couldn’t be there to see his daughter take her vows as a nun.

Wow! I felt as though I had been racing a marathon with the emotions of this single episode in less than sixty minutes. In typical Call The Midwife style compassionate words were spoken toward the end of the story, even though there had been countless poignant sentiments throughout the viewing.

As one of the midwives prepared the newborn to be presented to his adoptive parents, a social worker stood at her side reminding her this was a difficult time, but also “sometimes the only way we survive the pain is to remember the lives we call our own, the joy of them, the hope of them-a simple possession of hours, days and years which are no one else’s.”

 One of the other midwives reminded them that in giving this new baby to another mother, “sometimes we are made whole simply because another heart has started beating. We are torn, but we are mended.”

With each event which was portrayed in this episode today, I could say, God this is just like what you do in our lives-not a television program, but reality. God makes all things beautiful, no matter what occurs. Ecclesiastes 3:11 NKJ, “He has made everything beautiful in its time…”

Where They Once Stood

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They happen in numerous settings.  Some are lavish, others are unassuming. Some are traditional while others are “free spirited” and “artistic.” Some cost millions of dollars, others cost a few hundred dollars. But all achieve the same success. They bring together a husband and wife vowing to love the other for eternity; a marriage and wedding ceremony.

Weddings most often also bring a flood of tears and memories of yesteryear. They are one of the most cherished elements of any family, for we know a marriage is the beginning of a new union. Parents and grandparents realize this is where they once stood with hopes and dreams for their future. Now, the young bride and groom possess the same goals; to live a long, full and blessed life with the one they love.

I recently had the joy of celebrating such an event with one of my granddaughters. The wedding was beautiful and so unlike mine which had been on the very same date fifty-six years prior. My wedding was small and modest. I have heard our pastor’s wife’s words in my heart and mind countless times, “this is the fanciest wedding our church has ever had.”

Certainly this validates the phrase of being in the eye of the beholder. Our humble church was filled with approximately one hundred people; the most our church could accommodate. It was the era of cake and punch following the ceremony.  However, the church was so small, it had no fellowship hall. The local community center became that venue.

Because my groom and I paid for our entire wedding, my mother and I had sewed for months making all the dresses and other necessary accessories for weddings of the 1960’s. Now, as my beautiful granddaughter walked down the aisle with her groom, she was overjoyed with the dreams of the future awaiting them. I too shared those same aspirations on my wedding day.

It was a magnificent day for our family during our granddaughter’s wedding. My son’s toast to his daughter and the father/daughter dance left most of the guests with tear stained smiles. I had prayed earnestly that God would give me additional strength for the day.

As many Christian female speakers and authors have shared in their bible studies and testimonies, marital betrayal and unfaithfulness is one of the most sorrowful experiences in their lives. Certainly it was for me. As I had begged and pleaded with my then husband to save our marriage for the sake of our family, he shared only that he had not loved me for over forty years. He proclaimed his heart was with his mistress for she is the one he cared about.

As couples in our family sat hand in hand, sharing glances of love and commitment for their own marriages and now our granddaughter, I could only “cry out to God” in silence to give me the power to endure my grief. For it was moments like this that I had reminded my then husband that he and his mistress could not share.

I’m grateful that I could call upon God to give me the strength which only He could give. My heart is scarred with the grief of betrayal, but how I rejoiced in the  beauty of the day and the memories with the family. NKJ Psalms 29:11 The Lord will give strength to His people; The Lord will bless His people with peace.

It’s One Step

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This was a driveway moment and I felt compelled to listen to the “rest of the story”  on the radio. As she pulled up to the toll booth, the attendant said “how are you today?” The routine reply is “fine” and the parties depart. Well today, the driver noted, “I’m not okay” as she was pouring out tears of despair.

The toll attendant used this moment as a God hug, and stated that she was covering the driver in prayer. The driver had never met the attendant and even though she was sharing a difficult moment, this didn’t mean she was in need of psychological help. The driver left uplifted and full of hope.

Why are people so zealous to inform those enduring challenges that they need emotional and/or mental assistance? Only today, I received an email that because my life has not been typical that I need such support. Even though the one making this statement is a church staff member, they apparently have never had a need of bible studies reminding Christians that life is challenging and filled with problems we may not have caused. Yet, often we are the recipients of another’s sin or poor choices in life.

As a group of us gather weekly for the bible study, It’s Not Supposed to be This Way by Lysa Terkurest, we know many of us have lives we didn’t plan nor anticipate. We are a diverse group of different backgrounds, ages and life experiences. Yet we all have the commonality that we didn’t plan for our lives to be as they are. Lost jobs, illness, accidents, wayward children, broken homes and marriages face many Christians.

Did they do something wrong to deserve these trials? Were their sins so immense  this was a necessary punishment? God doesn’t bring hardships to his children for chastisement.  Just as he brought sorrow and difficulties to Job, it wasn’t because Job had sinned. Job 1-2 notes Job was “blameless and upright, and one who feared God and shunned evil…so that this man was the greatest of all the people of the East.” Satan believed Job would curse God, but God proved Satan wrong. He allowed Satan to “test” Job with illness, loss of family and all he owned, but Job remained steadfast to God. “The Lord Gave, and the Lord has taken away, Blessed be the name of the Lord. In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong.”

As our bible study group sits around my table sharing our lives and the realizations that it was not what we planned for our“life’s story”, we all know God is maturing us in His love. Lysa states in her study, “Longsuffering is long because you can’t sprint through it. It’s one step. And then another that might be more treacherous …sometimes God lifts us up in an instant, and other times He wants to join us on a bit of a journey.”

Yet, through it all, it doesn’t mean we are mentally and/or physically weak. We may at times benefit from Christian counseling, but it never is indictive that because we are on this journey, we are helpless. Just as I listened during the “driveway moment”, God gives us hugs in many forms.  I Peter 5:10 NIV “And the God of all grace…after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong.”

I Assumed!

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Priority-the fact or condition of being regarded or treated as more important! More important than what?  Assets?  Social events?  Money? What are our priorities? During a recent recovery from a surgery, I found my priority to be “get well-get back to normalcy-get back to my routine.”

Being in isolation during recovery from an illness or surgery is not ideal. We spend a vast amount of time in quiet solicitude and our thoughts.  It’s not always best for our emotional health, as it gives us too much time to reflect and ask ourselves, “what if.”

When we have recovered from that time of quiet healing, what are our priorities? Our priorities change as situations in our lives change. Because of my “age” , my priorities are different than when I was a teen, a young wife and mother or even an older mother.

Life is truly a choice of priorities. For some persons, it’s how many more social events can we add to our already “too busy” schedule?  For others, it’s how much more money can we earn? For me, it’s “if only” I could have even “five more minutes.” The cliché that life passes too quickly becomes more valid as we age.

Recently I read an introspective commentary. It shares the feelings many of us have with our current priorities. “Barely the day started and it’s already six in the evening. Barely arrived on Monday…and the month is already over and..50 or 60 years of our lives have passed, and we realize we have lost our parents, our friends…and it’s too late to go back…let’s try to eliminate the afters…I’m doing it after…because what we don’t understand is after the coffee gets cold, afterwards priorities change…afterwards the kids grow up…afterwards the parents get old…and then it’s too late…so let’s leave nothing for later.”

Recently I viewed a poignant movie on the loss of a mother for a “bride to be.” She was sharing with another young woman that chose not to see her mother the importance of priorities; the importance of “do it today.”  The bride to be stated, “she always assumed she could talk to her mom when she was ready, but now it’s too late. It’s too late for questions or answers. It’s too late to thank her for all the wonderful things she’s done for me. It’s too late to sit down and have a cup of tea. I wish I could do even one of those things as I wouldn’t waste even one second.”

As you arise today, what is your priority? As a Christian, my faith has to be greater than or equal to my family. I know without God, I can do nothing. I won’t be the person I should be nor accomplish the tasks set before me, if God is not directing me. However, I never want to say, I assumed I had plenty of time. At this decade of my life, I fully understand my time is fleeting, so when I’m asked to be with someone or do it, I don’t want to be like the bride to be and say, “now it’s too late.”

Luke 12:34 NKJV “for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

Just Try Again!

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Not again! Will this ever end? That’s why I stepped away, but when my devout Christian physician encouraged me not to “give up”, I opted to try again. As Dr. P. noted, I might have to kiss a lot of frogs before I found a prince. Yet, I never arrived at “kissing the frogs” before I jumped onto higher ground.

Over twelve years ago when I found myself alone after a forty-four year marriage, my then husband chose to spend his life with another. I believed God would bring me a new friend; not necessarily a mate, for I took a vow to love and honor the man God had given me. Sometimes goals and promises are not always shared by others, whether in friendship or more serious relationships such as marriage.

After living in solitary  for several years, I was hopeful to meet someone. He must love God for I knew if he loved God, he would care about others. I began my search in church, volunteer organizations, community events and local match-making organizations. When all those resources were fruitless, I reluctantly signed up for on-line dating.

Recently, I had a harsh reminder. The text was the justification I remain “friendless.” The man had never met me. We conversed via telephone and text and he informed he expected physical intimacy by our third date. Evidently there must be a version of the bible for those persons that are Christian in “name only”, but don’t walk with Him or believe what He teaches.  Of course I’m being facetious!

My profile on the on-line dating sites leaves no doubt of my beliefs and my walk with God. It is very evident I believe what the bible teaches. So why do these men believe I’m not a person? Why do they not respect my feelings or beliefs? Why do they view me as only a physical object to be used as a toy?

Why must I be subjected to such demeaning requests repeatedly? As I reflected back on the men I’ve met over the past decade the majority had no desire for a friendship or relationship. They all believe a cup of coffee or an inexpensive lunch required special benefits.

Each time I was appalled and profoundly offended. The greatest offense occurred several years ago when I met a man at my church. Even though he had been married and divorced numerous times, I believed he must have some desire to walk with God as the church I attended was biblical and conservative. Certainly he must believe God’s teachings about sexual infidelity and fornication.

I quickly realized he not only didn’t believe God’s teachings, his harassment was unlike any I experienced. Because of that encounter, I’ve had to realize that just because a man attends church or states he is a Christian, doesn’t mean he walks with God.

For some of us, God allows us to be alone so that we know He is all we need. He will never betray us or abandon us.  Deuteronomy 31:6- ESV “ Be strong and courageous…for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

I Can’t Go In These

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“What have I done now?…I was only asking a question”, he said. “I can’t go in these”, he protested. “I’m not used to them, so he took them off. He was cursed  as the giant came to him with sword, spear and javelin. Reaching into his shepherd’s bag and taking out a stone, he hurled it with his sling and hit the Philistine in the forehead. The stone sank in and Goliath stumbled and fell face down on the ground.”

No this isn’t a fairy tale or a work of fiction, it is one of my favorite truths of the bible; a young  boy named David whom God used to kill the giant Goliath that had mocked and ridiculed him. Even his brothers chastised him, telling him he should have been home caring for the sheep which was his job as a shepherd.

When David convinced those around him that God would enable him to slay the giant, they instructed him to “suit up” in a coat of mail. It was too cumbersome for David, so he was armed only with his small bag of stones and sling. He knew he needed nothing more, for God was his weapon and strength.  God chooses those He will use. Their might and power from God  can’t stop even a nine foot giant, as in Samuel 17

David has always been one of God’s children whom I never tire of studying. He was a  man that God chose to use, but then David allowed his “earthly self” to take over during times of his life, but God’s plan for David couldn’t deter what the future held. From success to failure to success, reining as King of Israel.  Isn’t this so akin to persons thousands of years later?

When King Saul called David to play his harp he couldn’t have imagined that a short time later King Saul would seek to kill David. Jealousy had overtaken Saul. However, Jonathan, Saul’s son loved David and made a pact with him that he would not only be his friend for life, but he would protect him. As we continue reading the story in Samuel, the devotion Jonathan had for David is unlike friendships of our era. Seldom does anyone have a stronger concern for a friend than for their own family.

The story of David’s life should be a reminder to each of us that when we allow God to use us as He planned, He will protect us through all circumstances. I can personally reflect on my life and wonder why God has allowed situations as He has. Yet, as I’ve stated often in my blogs, God’s plans are truly perfect. In my life I’m beginning to understand God had to remove some persons and situations so  He could fulfill His plan.

We are not kings, nor have we slain tens of thousands of men or even a giant, but God can use us in mighty ways as He did with David.  A couple of weeks ago, as I was having my quiet time, I prayed, “God please use me in anyway you choose, for here I am Lord.” Within the hour, He was showing me that if I was sincere in offering my service to Him, He was sincere in using me. We can all be Davids for the Lord.

David cries out to God, but also praises God in one of the most beautiful books of the bible, the Book of Psalms. In Psalm 118:8, NLT,  we are reminded, “it is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in people.”

He’s Got This!

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She said, “bring your bible study ideas to the meeting.” As I crouched down in my book shelf to retrieve the numerous bible study books and guides, I was astonished at the vast array of the studies I had taken and/or led in the past four to five decades of my life. There they were; in-depth theological studies, lighter studies filled with inspiration and awe, studies with video commentaries and studies that involved hours of diligence in preparation.

 I had two large book bags of studies to share for the meeting. These excluded the Percepts and Bible Study Fellowship studies or the countless studies I had “shared” with other women. These were some of my collection. There was such an immeasurable assortment of authors from the well known which have written countless bible studies to those newer leaders to the field of the immense collection of evangelical Christian bible studies.

 When searching for such studies in a Christian book store, it is similar to perusing the local candy shop. There is something for everyone. If I have spent the past five plus decades of my life in bible studies, then I pondered over my rationale in still coming before the Lord and crying out to Him for an understanding of my life.

Shouldn’t I already understand? Shouldn’t I have the faith and assurance that no matter what happens, this truly is the best for me? Yes, my head does know for I have listened to, read of and studied all these years of God’s love, goodness, mercy and best for each of us, His children. Yet all these decades later, I have one prayer which has remained. The format changes, but the theme remains. I know God knows best, but I grapple in perceiving God’s plan in this sorrow of my life.

I say, “but God, this doesn’t seem fair. God, why does so and so have this and I don’t?  God why can’t I have this, for your word says “this is good?” If it’s good God, then why is it withheld from me?” For some the prayer need is short-term and easily understood. For others, like myself, it has sincerely been a lifetime. The more I pray and the longer the time passes, the more I have to accept that God truly does know best and His plan  is perfect.

These are the moments and times alone with God that I can say, “God thank you that you do love me. Thank you that you do know best for me.”  For now, I’m grateful for the countless bible study authors and opportunities to be reminded of His promises to us. It is also the fellowship with other Christians while studying that reminds me of God’s assurances.

What a joy it is to know that even though I have been coming to God for all these decades with a passionate prayer, He continues to stand right there with me, holding my hand and letting me know “He’s got this.”  Isaiah 41:10 NIV, “so do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. “